Someone wrote in that gossip blog that I'm lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons... but it's not my fault I've got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!

 Let me tell you something about Ana. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Luke who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Morocco, and Ana was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Luke at the warehouse, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, “Ana, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re obsessed with licking navels.” I mean I couldn’t have a navel licker at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? She was a NAVEL LICKER. So then her mum called my mum and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one let her lick their navel, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was spamming my ask, and now I guess she’s on heroin.