so i just wasted this whole evening turned night doing nothing, when i should have finished that book i'm testing on tomorrow.
what happened to me?
i used to the that girl who would rather sit in the corner of the stage with my nose in a good book than play basketball with my friends. i spent an entire summer just reading & listening to music, soaring through ten books & four different series’.
now i can’t read for more than twenty minutes without nodding off.
this saddens me more than i can imagine. i’ve let go of so many things the past two years that have made me me. i can’t come to grips with the fact that i’m changing.
i’m always enthusiastic about buying the next book in a good series or finding an amazing series. back then, i would get home, drop everything, & read. but now, i would get home, put it on my shelf, and forget about it.
this is bothering me way more than it should.
In the coffin I buried you in,
Twenty years ago.
I can hear you.
Quiet. In the back of my head.
When it’s all chaos.
You will allow me.
To control you.
Over the matter.
I like it.
I like the feeling that no one can touch.
Those words lingered.
You knew it.
You preyed upon it.
At a time.
I think…I might let you.
Empty in the middle…I missed you.
Old Habits Die Hard
Lieu’s body was heated in the cool darkness of the bedroom. Sweat beaded on his scarred pale skin making it glisten slightly. His eyes were closed as his hands explored the already explored territory of his own body.
He knew he would be in deep trouble if he was caught. He didn’t have permission to touch himself like he was, but spirits did it feel good. The man let out tiny moans and groans of pleasure as a hand stroked his pulsing member at a fast pace. His pale legs spread a good distance as his other hand traced a finger around his entrance.
His back arched pressing his chest up against the invisible figure above him, which only teased him more. Without a warning to himself, not one but two fingers were shoved past his tight ring of muscle and Lieu moaned an unexpected name. “…T-tarrlok…” It was soft and low, but still audible. His voice was dripping with need and pleasure.
Old Habits || Lukian
Luke walked down the street slowly, not caring how long it took him to get to Fabian’s house, or anywhere for that matter. All he knew was he felt absolutely lost now, like he didn’t know where he was going or what was waiting for him once he got there. He was still in the suit he had wore to the Winter Ball, it just look worn down and less put together than it had in the beginning of the night. He wiped a few tears from his face and finally turned towards Fabian’s door. He stood outside for a moment trying to compose himself and make himself look a little less pathetic than he did.
Luke knocked on the door lightly knowing that Fabian was probably standing behind it waiting for him. He rubbed his eyes slowly and let out a sob. Once the door was open he couldn’t help but throw his arms around Fabian and pull him tightly towards him for a hug as he started to sob. He knew Fabian was the last person to do this to but he couldn’t hold it in anymore.