2-21

Circled by a room of
tongue-heavy late-
bloomers with a
latent sense of dusty
cynicism, I looked
down at my narrow
feet and my old thin
lines, and answered
questions quietly only
to come home and ask
myself the same things
over and over again:
Who was I? What was
I doing here? Where
will I be this time next
year? and it all grew
quite tiring but here I
am in the body and
mind of Who I Am 
Meant to Be, and
I must say, it’s
quite comforting.

Is it me or some old people smell like poop mixed with cologne?

My grandfather mows his lawn everyday. He also mows the woods between our houses. I don’t understand.

my sister fell asleep to family feud and the commercials that are on at this time of night are golden.
catheters, female facial hair removers, off-brand life alert, and oh wait MORE CATHETERS.

It started nice...

My grandparents are out the back with a couple of their friends sharing stories.

The story of my Nan and Pop’s first date came up. He took her to the drive in, in his ‘new’ car. The car broke down, so they went for a romantic walk in the moonlight.

As my Nan ended the lovely story, my Pop chimed in with, “She wouldn’t let me root her though.”

Charming.

Dude just microwaved his fruit.

my granny put 3 cans of spray cheese in my basket and i don’t know what to do, and my granddad is looking at her unsurely.

“Is he ready for this Beatris? To be the holder of the cheese in a can?”

“I sure hope so Phill. I sure hope so….”

  • Dad: Do you have any gangster or thug friends?
  • Me: Yeah....?
  • Dad: Okay ask them to steal my car then set it on fire so I can get the insurance claim and buy a new one

I could be socializing with family.

But this is the slightly racist and homophobic side of my family so mrrrreeehhhh

I think I made a new friend today :D

  • Girl in my class: There's a lot of crazy people in our class right?
  • Me: They're all nuts!

Please tell me why my grandma was following me on twitter.

irUGH I HAVE TO FINISH PACKING

I HAVE TO FIND A SWIMSUIT.

WE’RE LEAVING AT SEVEN.

WHO LEAVES AT SEVEN FOR NO FUCKING REASON? WHY IS THAT THE TIME OF MORNING YOU PICKED? I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS. I AM CONFUZZLED. MY MIND IS LEGITIMATELY BOGGLED AS TO HOW THAT WOULD SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA TO ANYONE, EVER.

ALSO, I MIGHT NOT HAVE INTERNET FOR A WHILE, THEIRS TENDS TO SUCK IN A BAD WAY. I MAY HAVE TO SCOUT OUT COFFEE HOUSES OR FIND SOMEONE STUPID ENOUGH OR KINDHEARTED ENOUGH NOT TO LOCK THEIR WI-FI

I WILL BE GONE FOR A MONTHISH, IF MY FAMILY IS TO BE BELIEVED.

WISH ME LUCK.

When I’m an old person I’m not gonna smile and wave at everyone I’m gonna flip them off

This is the best day ever.

My grandparents’ neighbor just yelled at me and told me I was indecent and that the shorts I am wearing “should only be worn by girls.” 

Am I doing it right, or what?

  • Older lady at work: So do you have a girlfriend?
  • Kyle: No..
  • Lady: Well why not?!
  • Kyle: [looks at me]
  • Me: [looks at Kyle]
  • Lady: You're what? 23? Start living!
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