“oh man they have this perfume that smells like books yes i want it so much”

“kristie nobody but you sits around smelling books”

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  • Me: Oh, cool! Morgan Freeman is in Oblivion!
  • My brother: Isn't that the lady who played Martha in Doctor Who?
  • Me: ...................................wut.
  • Jonathan: Is she hot?
  • Me: No. Here, I'll send you a pic.
  • Jonathan: Not needed if she's not hot, tbh.

Jonny reads poetry:

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  • Jonathan: i actually want to go back to school lul
  • Me: you'd have to get up early and shizzz ew
  • Jonathan: haha, its not even that bad. when i get to the bus stop the girl i like is there c:
  • Me: aksdfj awww omg
  • pffft
  • wait
  • omg
  • loll
  • cutest thing i've heard the whole day omg ; u ;

Every time Danny Strong wins an award, I think we’re all living in that universe from the episode of Buffy where Jonathan makes everyone think he’s awesome.

“you guys don’t even know. i’ve had sex with 12 or 2 women”

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jonny-greenwood replied to your post: photo reply with a stupid picture of a member of…

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Doorbell just rang. Dad answered it.

  • Dad: Can I help you?
  • Man: Hello, I'm here on behalf of the Jehovah's Witnesses.
  • Dad: Good for you! I'm not. Bye! *slams door*

of course I would lock myself out of my car at the gas station 15 minutes before I’m supposed to pick up the kids. of course my phone would be in my car. of course I would stand there helpless and crying while the nice Kroger employee Jonathan would break into my car for me. I am now grateful to Jonathan. Thank you Jonathan.

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