alright but.... what if they "go south" with their human lips I... I'm not... sure I can handle that
Think of it as an adventure. Trying something new can be really fun—and take it from experience here, oral is pretty awesome no matter the species involvement. I promise, a blowjob won’t hurt! Just try to relax. If you both want this, you got nothing to be afraid of.
And now, just a friendly reminder to all our readers to always play it safe!
yes jfc I gain 10 pounds from eating every period
YES
I get the opposite, actually. I’m never hungry when I’m ovulating, but I get the worst munchies ever once my period starts.
yes. when i’m ovulating i’ll eat twice as much noms than i normally do. tis crazy. but i guess it makes up for when i’m dealing with the week of bloody hell because i stay so bloated that i barely eat soo. it works?
yes! I’ll eat just about anything, especially brownies. One time, I just made cookie dough so I could eat it raw for like 3 days lol
Jesus Christ yes. CONSUME
God yes
YES.
Yeah. I have super irregular periods, so that’s one of the few signs I have to tell when it’s…going to arrive? IDK.
YESSS I LOVE THIS ok we will eat everythng and be fat and happy together
if one of you wants to come over and EAT ALL THE THINGS WITH ME I’m a really good cook I swear
Jen you bring the cookie dough because that sounds like the best idea of all time rn
Nail trimming, hair trimming (bangs and body), cutting tiny ropes/stuff, cutting off the awful annoying plastic tags on clothes, etc.
Ahh I use my pocketknife for most of those things. Except for nail and hair trimming.
I just use one of those cheap exfoliating sponges you can find in almost any store. my mom has some exfoliating scrub that she bought at bath and body works, but that was pretty expensive
Oho well I will have to make a CVS run then!
but isn’t that rash gonna get removed as soon as you take him to a pokeclinic
RASH AS IN DISPLAYING OR PROCEEDING FROM A LACK OF CAREFUL CONSIDERATION OF THE POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES OF AN ACTION
I SEE YOU AND YOUR WORDPLAY-BASED TRICKERY
ITT: people who still think copypasta trolling is funny
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have ogre 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me ogre the Internet? think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in ogre seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all ogre you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
To Cheer Myself Up, Some More Mass Effect Feels:
1. The first character I first fell in love with: Garrus, though I admit I was quite taken with Liara for a little while right in the beginning.
2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Kasumi. She was worth buying the DLC, but I never expected her to be as amazing as she turned out to be. LOVE HER SO MUCH OMG.
3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Kaidan. I just… I just don’t get it guys.
4. The character I love that everyone else hates: Jack. Not everyone else hates really, but I know quite a few people who aren’t Jack fans, and I heart her.
5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Liara. A certain Turian stole my heart away from her and he just won’t give it back
6. The character I would totally smooch: Garrus. Duh. See also Tali.
7. The character I’d want to be like: Femshep. I wish I could kick that much ass.
8. The character I’d slap: Jacob. So he’ll stop with those damn teeth *shudders*
9. A pairing that I love: femshep/garrus/tali. My shiny OT3.
10. A pairing that I despise: Despise is too strong a word, I don’t ‘despise’ ships, but the Kaidan/femshep pairing is kinda ‘meh’ to me.
