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At one cuil you ask for an apocalypse.
I give you a hamburger.

So Okcupid is trying to find me a hookup for the apocalypse

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Update from Florida: Mickey Mouse marches in from the west leading an army of snowbirds.  The horizon glows red.

My alligators are restless.

The apocalypse is here. I have seen it. There are zombies. They are stoned. They can DRIVE!

If I never see any of you again, just know that you were all people.

Floridians, our hour has come.

We have known the face of our foe for some time now. They appeared earlier this year, striking early and striking fear into our hearts, and now as the horde approaches we must show no fear. 

The zombie hordes must be driven back.

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It’s sort of ironic that out of everyone, Florida got the ever anticipated Zombie apocalypse, and then we decided they should be naked.

Why is this my state.

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sombies replied to your post: sombies replied to your post: Apocalypse update…

apocalypse report from florida: our old people have harnessed the power of bath salts and are storming cinderella’s castle at disney world, alligator barricades soon to scamper off back into the everglades, send reinforcements SOS

WE NEED REINFORCEMENTS 

While everyone else is freaking out about the apocalypse, the Chinese are eating colourful balls of dough in soup.

 

Aren’t they delightful?

Here’s a recipe, you neurotic motherfuckers

So I bet Facebook right now is...

“Party like there’s no tomorrow!”

“Gonna stay up all night partying hard and drinkin’ ;) #So Hardcore!”

“Tomorrow is the last day on earth! Better do all the stupid shit now peoples! #Yolo!”

“When I die tomorrow, gonna die with SWAG”

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