"...We're going to be late for the INQUIRY!"

So, this week I was re-listening to Big Finish’s Gallifrey 1.3: “The Inquiry” and there is this one part that is absolutely hilarious to me.

TORVALD: “There’s been no sign of her. The Inquiry starts again in just a few microspans!”

BRAXIATEL: “An Honor Guard, Torvald? To escort me to the Inquiry?”

NARVIN: “Is that all you wanted? I’m expected at the Inquiry.”

K-9: “Matrix clock will reset in 5 microspans and data bomb will explode!”

ROMANA: “I know, K-9, I know. I must get to the Inquiry!”

All the Time Lords are running around with their hair on fire because they are worried that they are going to be late to the next session of the Inquiry. Just for context, here are some of the things that have happened since the last session:

• The Matrix is going to explode in less than 15 minutes.
• Braxiatel, the guy running the Inquiry, has been arrested for breaking the Laws of Time.
• The President has gone missing.
• One of the chief witnesses (Leela) has sworn death vengeance against the other chief witness (Torvald).

Despite all this going on, no one even considers cancelling or postponing the Inquiry.

Try to imagine this in human, real-world terms:

A Congressional Sub-Committee is holding hearings to determine whether the President of the United States overreacted by stationing troops to invade a country that may or may not have had a stolen Weapon of Mass Destruction. While the hearings are taking place, the President has gone missing. The President ditched his bodyguard and hijacked Air Force One, taking off for parts unknown, swearing he’d find evidence to get to the bottom of the matter. No one knows where the President is. Meanwhile, the Senator who is Head of the Sub-Committee has been arrested for High Treason. On top of that, the CIA and Special Forces have actually located and recaptured the WMD. At the same time, we’ve just received word that hackers have planted a virus that is going to crash the entire Internet sometime in the next fifteen minutes.

Now, if all of that were going on, don’t you think any reasonable human being would choose to postpone the hearing? …Given that the Internet is about to explode?

But, we’re not dealing with reasonable human beings, are we? We’re dealing with Time Lords. This, right here, is what I love about Time Lords. Protocol and Bureaucracy and Ceremony and Tradition are so highly prized in their culture that they never even consider it. No one does, not Narvin, not Torvald, not Darkel, not Braxiatel, not even Romana. The planet may explode in five minutes, but until then we’re going to let bureaucracy run its course to the letter of the law

…and don’t you dare be late!