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My dad is a teenage boy. I swear.
Today my dad was sitting at a red light on his way to work. Right before the light turned green a guy in a little Saturn speed right through the intersection. My father, being the man that he is, thought “Hell, no. I a bought a v8 Tundra for a reason” and then punched the gas.
The road passed the lights narrows so my father just pushed the gas all the way to the floor, just so he could get in front of this guy, who was still going as fast has his little car would let him.
And for most people it would end there… but no. This guy then proceeds to follow my dad for like 15 minutes down this main road, until my dad pulls off into his work parking lot. He pulls in behind my dad and goes up to his passenger window.
The best part? He then told my dad he should step outside and settle this like real men, and started screaming about how my dad was an ass. When my father refused to get out (because he is civilized and not an idiot-and because he also told the guy he would be more then happy to call the cops for him) the guy picked my dad’s sweatshirt off the passenger seat and threw it at him…
My dad was so excited when he told me the story this afternoon he finished it by saying “It was the most fun I’ve had all week!”
- -phone rings and it goes to message but it's just the dial tone when the message picks it up-
- -father gets up to check if the machine thinks there is a message to delete it-
- -he makes a small squee noise and I'm confused-
- Me: The hell?
- Dad: Horton. -picks up small elephant stuffed animal- Horton.
- Me: Wha--
- Dad: The beeping was right in Horton's ear.
- Me: ...
- Dad: -pets stuffed elephant-
I really don't think my dad works at his "job".....
I don't think my dad goes to work, I think he just messes around all day.... They have fuzeball tournaments at lunch, each have their own nerf missile launchers at their desk, play indoor soccer every Tuesday, and the last Friday of every month they have "company bonding activities" In September they went on a scavenger hunt in town that involved dancing with a cop and interviewing movie-goers. Then they went indoor go karting.
On the phone with my Mom earlier.Dad on the phone: Your mother’s putting me to work. She won’t be happy til I’m dead.”
Mom later on the phone after hearing Dad mock her and such several times: You’re such a pain in the ass!
Me: What’s he doing?
Mom: He’s just walking around the house moaning.
Yeah….that’s basically what marriage apparently is after 32 years.