Mustache Monday

I swear I think i am the hairiest chick to walk the earth.

It’s not like I’ve done the research or anything, but I think a lot and these are one of those things I ponder, so shut up..I’m a bit dramatic.

Anyway.

When I was 9 years old, I got my lady friend and my Nona came in the bathroom where I was sitting in shock and slapped me in the face hard enough to leave a mark and when I could find my breath to ask her what I did to deserve that, she said in Italian, ” Today you are officially old enough to screw up your life. And I just wanted to smack some sense in to you one last time”.

Loosely translated, you can get pregnant Michele. Don’t have sex if you ever want your thighs and boobs to look normal again.

But I digress..the real point of this story isn’t about how sadistic old school italians can be, but that while she was smacking me shitless and warning me about penis, she failed to tell me that a shit load of hormones were now being released into my system.  And although some of those bad boys would be the reason I had the prettiest, perkiest tata’s in Ms. Testa’s sophomore biology class, they would also be the reason I spend 40 dollars a month for a short, stout korean woman to pour hot wax upon my face to ensure I do not look like a hairy behemoth. 

So, what I am saying is this whole “Mustache Monday” meme and I?

Not fucking friends.