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"Being a Stay at Home Mum isn't a Real Job..."

…you’re absolutely right.
At a real job I’d get a lunch break…

Having children is like voluntarily going insane.

“Oh good morning love, you’re so cute!”

Five seconds later…

“Oh dear God how did you even make that much shit, jesus take the wheel.”

“Oh you’re so adorable!” *snuggles*

*baby barf all over*

“Omg you little shit why.”

Screaming for two hours

“WHY DID I THINK KIDS WERE A GOOD IDEA PLEASE GOD WHY”

Two minutes later

“Omg yer so precious sleeping *takes 50 million pictures*”

To the mom who’s breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You’re a good mom.

To the mom who’s formula feeding: Isn’t science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn’t produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You’re a good mom.

To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You’re a good mom.

To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it’s excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You’re a good mom.

To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn’t easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You’re a good mom.

To the mom who works: It’s wonderful that you’re sticking to your career, you’re a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it’s fantastic. You’re a good mom.

To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you’re too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You’re feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren’t complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You’re a good mom.

To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they’re learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You’re a good mom.

To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can’t run around. You’re a good mom.

To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don’t they? We’ve all been through it. You’re a good mom.

To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.

rule 1. do not fucking annoy a hormonal pregnant woman.

you will get your head bitten off, chewed up and spat right back out.

If you are offended by breastfeeding, you have a lot of growing up to do.

Being topless was a lot funner when milk didn't leak out on everything.

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