mum was being mean so i buried her under socks and a washing basket

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  • me: hey mum, lets say you die.
  • mum: ok
  • me: if you could get buried with one thing in the enitre world what would it be?
  • mum:
  • mum: you
  • mum: If I'm going down I'm taking you with me

mum you do not understand

  • Mum: he's 20 years older than you!
  • Me: yeah, but he's Benedict Cumberbatch.

Mother's Day.

Today millions of people will celebrate their mothers life by sacrificing the life of someone else’s.

If you really love mums all around the world, cut the shit,
Go Vegan.

  • Mum: What do you want for your birthday?
  • Me: Band merch.
  • Mum: What do you want fro Christmas?
  • Me: Band merch.
  • Mum: Do you want something different to band merch?
  • Me: Yes, band members.
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