I have had 2 children and my body is far from what it was in the days of eating nothing but jellybeans and drinking gallons of water or my Army days when I could crank out PT like a machine. I’ve grown soft, quite literally. I tell myself that I will start this day or that and never do. I wonder where the determination I had in years past has gone? I am far too comfortable in complacency. I wish I was capable of finding a friend where I live that isn’t ghetto and crazy but that is like looking for someone who isn’t a Roman in Rome. Having a partner would surely help this all along but I know I must stop waiting, procrastinating, and making excuses. I have to help myself. This is just what is on my mind this morning.
Confession of the day #37/100
I’m trying to get into shape for the summer
I don’t even think I was that out of shape when I started right at the new year
There’s just so much room for improvement.
I’m not doing it to get a boyfriend
I’m not doing it to impress anyone
I’m doing to feel good about myself
I don’t starve myself
I’m not forcing myself to throw up
I’m doing this the right fucking way
Because 1. doing those things stop working as soon as you start eating again
2. starving yourself slows down your metabolism and causes you to lose weight less quickly because your body goes into survival mode.
and 3. that’s taking the easy way out, and an excuse not to work for something I want
I don’t appreciate people trying to talk me out of trying to better myself because “I’m already so skinny and in shape”
Being skinny and being in shape is NOT the same thing
I don’t appreciate people giving me shit for trying to watch what I eat.
I’m sorry I don’t want to end up with some kind of heart disease that is pretty rampant in both sides of my family.
You know what? I totally binged yesterday when I was out at a coffee shop with friends?
Do I feel bad? A little. Am I going to starve myself to make up for it today? NO
This went from a confession into more of a rant, I don’t particularly care.
Fucking come at me bro.