In Every Way Imaginable; an 8.23 coda
The worst part about the initial collision is the deafening silence that makes him feel completely hollow.
please when Cas is ///really/// angry with Dean he’d always call him by his surname
and one of Dean’s bad habits is always leaving his dirty socks on the floor and pls you know they’d bicker heatedly about the dumbest things while basically having hearts in their eyes, but sometimes it wouldn’t be like that
Dean would already be up and eating his breakfast when Cas finally storms into the kitchen, with an amazing bedhair and still wearing nothing but his boxers and socks, and he has the smelly garments in his hand and his voice is suprisingly leveled when he practically growls; ‘Winchester, your ass is a fine piece of work, and i should know it damn well, since i’m the one who recreated it, so the least you could do is put away your ////dirty socks!///’ and as in emphasis he tosses the socks with 100% accuracy into Dean’s cereal bowl and stormes out of the room, and Dean doesn’t immediately follow after him because he /knows/ Cas is being really pissed at him and he doesn’t want to turn it into a full on fight
a few hours later he comes to find Cas alone in his garden, hunched before his butterfly bush (the one Dean had gotten to him), and Dean slowly walks to him, crouching beside Cas and gently nudging his shoulder with his own. and Cas is avoiding to looking at him but after a beat he mumbles a quiet ‘i’m sorry, Dean’, still intently gazing at the bush, and Dean then puts his hand in Cas hair and pulls him closer against himself, kissing his temple and murmuring ‘i’m sorry too, sweetheart’ and then they’d stay like that, in comfortable silence, for almost an half an hour, before together heading back inside to make something for dinner ;u;
“So that’s it? E.T goes home?”
Cas doesn’t understand the reference, he guesses it’s about a movie perhaps but he does understand what Dean is trying to say. He’ll have to make a choice if it comes down to it but right now, he doesn’t know what to say. Everything is so twisted up that he cannot even begin to think what he would do. What he would be allowed to do.
Dean glances at him when Cas doesn’t say anything, worry etched into the lines of his face. He looks away again, swallowing. Cas doesn’t know if he’s trying to swallow down more words or swallow down his hesitation.
He clears his throat, starts to say something and then stops again. Cas waits, knowing that with Dean, asking would only cause him to pull in again. So he waits.
They come out in little bursts, sputtering out and then flickering again, Dean’s words. “But you know. If-if you didn’t want that. If you didn’t want to be stuck up there with those dicks. We-” A sputter. “Me and Sam we got something permanent now. And we’re so close to getting the gates closed. And after..”
He looks away from Cas now, squinting at the bar instead. “Look, what I’m trying to say is, you’re family. So don’t feel like it’s your only choice. I was thinking about how I couldn’t tell you to leave when you came back, after everything. It’s something. So I’m here. If you want it.”
Cas opens his mouth, but the door opens with a chime and they both turn, the spell broken and the I want it gets stuck to the roof of his mouth, swallowed down again in the face of something bigger than them.
OH MY GOD TODAY AT NJCON WAS WONDERFUL AND AMAZING AND I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH FUN I HAD?
i got to meet and take pictures with james p stuart and rich and matt and rob and misha (which btw i think i redeemed myself from last year’s terrible photo) and rick worthy was there
and i asked james p stuart what he thought an interaction between eve and dick roman would be like (he didn’t really know much about eve but he answered anyways :)))) and he said that he’d eat her, become her, and touch him(her)self which killed me with laughter
and then during the photo op he caLLED ME ‘EVE GIRL’
i just loved it bc it’s everything i’ve worked towards as a member of the spn fandom :’))
and people recognized me based on my eve question which was even better
and i got to meet kyra and kris and corina it was gr8 :))))
there are not enough smiley faces omg
if anyone is going tomorrow that i haven’t met, message me and we can hang out! i swear i’m really nice :’)