what if Cas gets his grace back somehow and he’s been with Dean and Sam and a ‘human’ long enough now so that he knows he’s not going to regret the choise he’s about to make, which is staying as one.
and he let’s his grace return into the whole of creation (and it will grow into an enermous oak tree in the next few hundred years) but not before taking a bit of it and turning it into a ring, not made of silver or gold or steel, not really anything known to man, a mixture of /everything/. it looks simple enough still, but you can sometimes see it thrumming with life when the light hits it just right. and it is the same ring he’ll be coaxing on Dean’s finger that same night, as they lay curled together, legs and arms tangled, in the safety of their bed. it remembers them both.
“So that’s it? E.T goes home?”
Cas doesn’t understand the reference, he guesses it’s about a movie perhaps but he does understand what Dean is trying to say. He’ll have to make a choice if it comes down to it but right now, he doesn’t know what to say. Everything is so twisted up that he cannot even begin to think what he would do. What he would be allowed to do.
Dean glances at him when Cas doesn’t say anything, worry etched into the lines of his face. He looks away again, swallowing. Cas doesn’t know if he’s trying to swallow down more words or swallow down his hesitation.
He clears his throat, starts to say something and then stops again. Cas waits, knowing that with Dean, asking would only cause him to pull in again. So he waits.
They come out in little bursts, sputtering out and then flickering again, Dean’s words. “But you know. If-if you didn’t want that. If you didn’t want to be stuck up there with those dicks. We-” A sputter. “Me and Sam we got something permanent now. And we’re so close to getting the gates closed. And after..”
He looks away from Cas now, squinting at the bar instead. “Look, what I’m trying to say is, you’re family. So don’t feel like it’s your only choice. I was thinking about how I couldn’t tell you to leave when you came back, after everything. It’s something. So I’m here. If you want it.”
Cas opens his mouth, but the door opens with a chime and they both turn, the spell broken and the I want it gets stuck to the roof of his mouth, swallowed down again in the face of something bigger than them.
OH MY GOD TODAY AT NJCON WAS WONDERFUL AND AMAZING AND I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH FUN I HAD?
i got to meet and take pictures with james p stuart and rich and matt and rob and misha (which btw i think i redeemed myself from last year’s terrible photo) and rick worthy was there
and i asked james p stuart what he thought an interaction between eve and dick roman would be like (he didn’t really know much about eve but he answered anyways :)))) and he said that he’d eat her, become her, and touch him(her)self which killed me with laughter
and then during the photo op he caLLED ME ‘EVE GIRL’
‘EVE GIRL’
i just loved it bc it’s everything i’ve worked towards as a member of the spn fandom :’))
and people recognized me based on my eve question which was even better
and i got to meet kyra and kris and corina it was gr8 :))))
there are not enough smiley faces omg
if anyone is going tomorrow that i haven’t met, message me and we can hang out! i swear i’m really nice :’)
