“Women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone fat.”—
When Strangers Click, a 2011 documentary about online dating.
It reminds me of that famous Margaret Atwood quote: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” It also reminds me of something written by one of the mods of Sex Worker Problems: “Misandry irritates. Misogyny kills.”
I mean, it’s just true.
Edited to add: The quote from the documentary is referring to heterosexual men who meet women through online dating, and vice versa. And the “it’s just true” comment is referring to the quotes from Margaret Atwood and SWP.
Why Do Men Keep Putting Me in the Girlfriend-Zone?
You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.
But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.
I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.
I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.
So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.
“It's easy to be considered a misandrist when men are socialized to feel entitled to women and our time. So, if you ignore them, you're a misandrist. If you insist they leave you alone, you're a misandrist. If you focus on building healthy female-centered relationships over relationships with men, you're a misandrist. Misandry is basically, prioritizing your agency, autonomy and fellow women, over men in a society that teaches you that being feminine relies on giving into men's feelings of entitlement. ”—
Society and the Creation of Misogyny and Misandry
- Society: Were you wearing revealing clothing when you were raped?
- In other words: Men, it is ok to rape a woman if she is wearing revealing clothing.
- In other words: It is ok to ridicule a woman for wearing revealing clothing.
- In other words: The bodies of women are innately sexual and need to be covered up.
- In other words: Women wearing revealing clothing could not possibly be dressing for the weather, they are merely asking for sex.
- In other words: Women, you are not allowed to wear whatever you want.
- Society: Were you alone when you were raped?
- In other words: Men, it is ok to rape a woman if she is alone.
- In other words: Women, you are only safe from men if you are in a group.
- Society: Were you drunk when you were raped?
- In other words: Men, it is ok to rape a woman if she is drunk.
- In other words: Women, it is unsafe to be drunk. Ever.
- Society: Did you fight back when you were raped?
- In other words: Men, if a woman is too scared to fight back, it is ok to rape her.
- In other words: Women, fear is not an excuse for not fighting back.
- In other words: Women, only violence will show a man that you truly mean "no I do not want to have sex".
- Society: Bitch, Cunt, pussy, whore, and slut are all socially acceptable insults.
- In other words: It is an insult to be feminine, and/or have feminine genitalia.
- In other words: It is not ok for women to be promiscuous.
- Society: When a girl gets raped and there is a picture taken, it is perfectly natural to call her a slut.
- In other words: It is a girl's fault if she gets raped.
- In other words: Boys, you will gain notoriety if you rape a girl.
- In other words: Ridiculing a victim of sexual assault is a societal norm and you are stupid if you do not join in.
- Society: If a girl is raped, she must have provoked it somehow.
- In other words: Men cannot be held accountable for their own actions.
- In other words: Men are like wild animals that cannot stop themselves.
- Society: Nice ass, you look sexy, etc. are all acceptable compliments to a woman.
- In other words: There is no such thing as sexual harrassment.
- In other words: Women should be gratified that men want to have sex with them.
- In other words: A man being interested in a woman automatically means she is obliged to be interested back.
- Society: Beautiful, pretty, sexy, fuckable etc. are the best compliments a woman can get.
- In other words: Women have no value except in their physical appearance.
- In other words: Women should not be measured by their intelligence or actual skills.
- In other words: Women exist to be physically desirable to men.
- Society: It is natural for men to wolf-whistle and call "compliments" after a woman, slap her ass, etc.
- In other words: Women, all men are pigs and there is nothing you can do about it.
- In other words: Women, you must grin and bear sexual harrassment.
- In other words: Men, to be a true man you must sexually harrass women.
- Society: There is nothing wrong with the wage gap.
- In other words: Women are inherently worth less than men.
- In other words: It is wrong for a woman to want equal pay.
- In other words: Women are not as suitable for work as men are.
- In other words: Men, women are worth less than you and it is ok to ridicule them because they do not matter.
- Society: It is not ok to protest sexism.
- In other words: Sexism does not exist.
- In other words: Equality does not apply to women.
- In other words: Feminists must be kept in line by a backlash of hate.
- In other words: Feminists are automatically man-haters
- In other words: Feminists are threatening to men.
- In other words: Men, it is not ok to support equal rights for women.
- Feminism: This is not an ok society to live in.
I’m not saying there should be a Homestuck strip club
But if you wouldn’t pay money to have a really attractive Homestuck cosplayer shake their booty at you you are LYING.
and it will be called Nepeta’s Stripping Wall.
You’re welcome Andrew Hussie