- how humans respond to jupiter intercepting a comet headed for earth: oh cool, science things, this must have happened before in the universe, yay for not being hit by a comet!
- how tumblr responds: oH MY GOD JUPITER SO LOVES EARTH JUPITEARTH OTP HEADCANON ACCEPTED milky way fandom BEST FANDOM SHIP ALL THE PLANETS DRAW FANART UNIVERSAL PLANETARY LOVEEEEE ASHALKSFDGLKFJALKJDSS
“I have something to tell you,” Saturn says, sitting Jupiter down. “Tea?”
He waves off the offer, scratching at his shoulders irritably. He’s been feeling awfully dry, lately. Scaly and uncomfortable. It must be the dust storms. “Get on with it.”
“I really think you should accept the tea. Or take a few deep breaths first.”
“Alright. Fine,” she snaps, laying down the tray-table and folding her voluminous skirts around herself. “The Sun is dying.”
“The Sun has been dying for years. Why is this news?”
“Because Neptune told me about your thing for Earth. And she worried—she’s very worried that you won’t be okay when it happens. When Earth is swallowed up.”
Jupiter freezes, limbs tight, eyes trained on a point right above Saturn’s head. “That might not happen.”
“But it could. And even if it doesn’t—even if you don’t have to watch your little friend get swallowed up by the Sun—you’ll watch him die anyway. He has about a billions before he starts to starve, before his precious little balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide fails and—”
Jupiter’s fist smashes into the table. Saturn’s teacups rattle brittly, and she frowns at his lack of self-control, crossing her arms over his chest, mass of bangles tinkling.
“You’re just jealous.”
“Of course,” she continues, ignoring his outburst, “that’s assuming he lasts a billion years. Those humans of his are trouble, you know. They might even destroy themselves within a millennium. And then what are you going to do? Hope Europa is next? Push her out of your orbit, closer to the Sun? Teach her to speak? Tell her stories about biochemistry and the structures of life?”
Jupiter gets to his feet. “I don’t want to hear this from you. He’s just a kid. He’ll figure it out—we’ll figure something out.”
“Not all of us are as interested in him as you are,” Saturn reminds him. “Some of us are content with our moons and our stars. Some of us like the quiet of space and don’t want to see it shattered with life.”
“It’s because you don’t understand how beautiful it is.” With that, Jupiter turns to leave, stalking away from Saturn’s little garden and it’s twinkling view of Kupier.
“You can save Earth from asteroids,” she calls, watching him vanish, “but you can’t save him from himself.”
Jupiter doesn’t reply.
But he remembers.