My friend and I were wresting on my bed and we were both hanging off the edge. I looked at him and said, “I have waiting my whole life for this moment.” He looked at me in confusion so I continued. “Let’s finish this the way we started it….TOGETHER!” Then I proceeded to throw us both off the bed.

sometimes I fill a bowl with milk and lick out of it pretending I’m a cat. am I the only one or just…

this gif will always crack my shit up

image

So I’ve realized today that if the situation were different- aka we met at the bar or friend of friends - I had totally been talking to him. In a friendly so-do-you-have-someone-what-kind-of-movies-do-you-like-do-you-want-to-go-watch-the-hobbit kind of way.

But because life just loves doing this to me, he’s one of the officers in our unit - he’s 5 months older than me so I don’t really give any fuck about that fact - and I can’t do this.

God, he looks friendly enough but I don’t think he’s got any friends there??

And I really want to get to know him and hfkdhgfdkh

Life’s just fucking lovely.

So I went to my mum's room earlier to show her something,

and suddenly there was a sex scene in something she was watching.

She changed the channel like nothing.

Mum.

I’m not that innocent, kay?

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