I'm Gonna Go to Mass
Joseph BeltranUm. Yeah. So this happened on my MacBook this afternoon. I don’t know either.
Thrift Shop Parody (I’m Gonna Go To Mass)
Click “Read More” for the lyrics LOL.
I’m gonna go to Mass
Only got a Rosary in my pocket
I, I, I’m coming, looking for my Missal
My God is so awesome
Walk up in the Church, like whaddup, we got a big flock
A billion in the world, shout outs to Peter, the first Rock
Holy Eucharist, no it ain’t symbolic
Sacramental wine, in my cup - alcoholic
Rollin’ in, hella deep, headed to the sacristy
Dressed in all white, except the cope and stole, those are green
Draped in a chasuble, Pope’s all infallible
One hour fasting, Last ate at 4:36……….
Cuz I’m going to the five o clock Mass.
And I be standing and kneeling about to go and get my exercise
Nourished by word and sacrament I swear that I be energized
JP II to be canonized
Sainthood swag, better recognize
Evangelize the nations through our love, Heaven is our prize.
Deaf to all the Devil’s lies, Deaf to all the Devil’s lies
No for real, ask my grandma I ain’t bout that sinful life
That mantilla with that white Roman collar
Prayin up a storm, we all make the Heaven’s holla
Collection basket in my pew so I give a dollar
Flying high above my foes, call me Iguodala
Our Father
Hail our Holy Mother
Help us through whatever
We pray things these things together
One God in the Holy Spirit Forever forever, forever ever, ever ever,
Amen
During the sinfully long Easter mass I just got home from, I knew I was supposed to be listening to the priest talk about Jesus dying and waking up 3 days later in the hospital with “DON’T OPEN, DEAD INSIDE” written on the door and John the Baptist is banging his wife and yada yada. But instead all I could think of is what I would do if a gunman ran in at that exact moment, like: “okay first I tuck and roll over this Korean family, then grab that cross off the wall and throw it at him like a ninja star, and then jump off the fountain and take him by air.” It’s sad that we live in a world where I need to come up with a plan of attack for emergency situations every time I go out in public.
