“I cling to you as if I were a burning ship and you could save me, as if I won’t go sliding down beneath you soon; as if our lives are made of rise and fall, and we could ride this out forever, with longing’s thunder rolling heavy in our arms.” ”

—Liz Rosenberg, Married Love

“There is young love, and old love. Married love, and innocent love.”

—Claude Chavasse - Love in the Afternoon (1972)

My old second grade teacher posted on Facebook that her husband’s right arm is in a splint up to his elbow and her left arm is in a splint up to her elbow, but it’s all okay because they can still hold each other’s hand.

“I cling to you as if I were a burning ship and you could save me, as if I won’t go sliding down beneath you soon; as if our lives are made of rise and fall, and we could ride this out forever, with longing’s thunder rolling heavy in our arms.”

—Liz Rosenberg, Married Love

“Well men are men whether they wear a clean shirt once a day or once a week.”

—Elizabeth Bellamy

My dad's love

  • Dad: I have to be careful when I roll over at night, 'cause if I roll onto your mom's hair I'll like pull it you know? So whenever I roll over I have to move her hair first.
  • Me: Haha that must get annoying.
  • Dad: I love her hair. I'm not complaining or anything, I'm just saying I have to be careful. I love her hair though.

The Elusive VO and the "Optimal One Inch"

Princess Marie Bonaparte’s shocking turn-of-the-last century sex-satisfaction theory, described in “Freud’s Mistress,” holds that women endowed with a distance of no more than one inch between the “c” and the “v” are physically equipped to experience the elusive vaginal orgasm (VO). Now, a hundred years later, the theory has been resurrected at Emory University.

Her mentor, the eminent Dr. Sigmund Freud, the man who coined the phrase “female frigidity” to describe sexually unsatisfiable women thought that perhaps the Princess was taking his words too much to heart. Apparently, however, Emory professor Kim Wallen thinks that Princess Marie may have been on to something.

The Princess herself believed so strongly in her theory that she underwent two genital surgeries to have her “c’ moved closer to her “v” but alas the alteration did not move her any closer to her desire for orgasmic intercourse.

According to an ABC News story, Professor Wallin wants to determine (again) if a woman’s ability to have an orgasm with penile stimulation alone depends on how far her clitoris lies from her vagina — the so-called “C-V” distance.

The professor is motivated by compassion. “I suspect that for a large proportion of women, orgasm from intercourse alone is just never going to happen and knowing that might give women some solace.”

Though he hasn’t started measuring yet, his team hopes to design a device that women can use in the privacy of their homes to measure their C-V distance.

While the professor is duplicating century old research in the search for the Elusive VO, he may also want to consider duplicating another Marie’s findings, which were published in her 1918 runaway best seller “Married Love.”

Sexy British scientist Dr. Marie Stopes discovered and documented females’ ‘periodicity of desire,’ leading her (and her many devotees) to conclude that female orgasm is really all about timing…

Read the fascinating stories of Princess Marie Bonaparte and Dr. Marie Stopes in the thrilling CoffeeBreakReaders HOT HISTORY novel, “Freud’s Mistress and the Battle for Birth Control”

Ladies, what do you think?

Is the ‘optimal one inch’ a measurement that matters?

We love to hear your opinion. Every comment you post on our collection of Ladies Room BLOGs gives you another chance to win wonderful prizes online at The CBR Club.

Married Love

The trees are uncurling their first
green messages: Spring, and some man
lets his arm brush my arm in a darkened
theater. Faint-headed, I fight the throb.
Later I dream
the gas attendant puts a cool hand
on my breast, asking a question.
Slowly I rise through the surface of the dream,
Brushing his hand & my own heat away.

Young, I burned to marry. Married,
the smolder goes on underground;
clutching at weeds, writhing everywhere.
I’m trying to talk to a friend on burning
issues, flaming from the feet up,
drinking in his breath, touching his wrist.
I want to grab the pretty woman
on the street, seize the falcon
by its neck, beat my way into whistling steam.

I turn to you in the dark, oh husband,
watching your lit breath circle the pillow.
Then you turn to me, throwing first one limb
and then another over me, in the easy brotherly lust of
marriage. I cling to you
as if I were a burning ship and you
could save me, as if I won’t go sliding down beneath you
soon; as if our lives are made of rise and fall, and we could
ride this out forever, with longing’s thunder rolling heavy in our arms.

 

- Liz Rosenberg 

Reading 'Married Love' for amusement/interest and the husband starts playing 'Past the Point of No Return' from Phantom of the Opera...

I don’t quite know how to feel tbh. (It’s interesting, having been reading this, lyrics like “what raging fire shall flood the soul” just… really stand out! I’ve always thought of it as a sexual song, but the juxtaposition of what I’m reading and that… hmm!)

And it’s actually a really interesting read. For all its kind of… reputation for openness compared to sexual practise at the time (Mutual pleasure! Female orgasms! *gasp*) I then couldn’t believe my eyes when I read this - “In the rather trivial terms of our sordid modern life, it works out in many marriages somewhat as follows: The married pair share a bed-room, often even a bed (though this detestable habit is fortunately rapidly decreasing)” - and thought EH?!

It seemed a contradictory attitude to the rest of the book, but actually it’s all about the idea of promoting ‘specialness’ and romance in seeing each other naked/in intimate moments - if you become so open as to share all your intimate daily routines without shame, then it’s like… the magic is lost, a little? This sentence explained it better - “To see her floating in the deep, clear water of her bath – that may enchant for ever, for it is so lovely, but the unbeautiful trivialities essential to the cleaning processes of a bath, tend only to dim the picture and, if repeated, to dull the interest and attention that should be bestowed on the body of the loved one.” And then, this made me chuckle - “ A fleeting glimpse of mutinous face as you lock yourself in the bathroom, is far kinder to a man than the wifely docility of sharing a toilet table and washstand.”

I think it actually makes a good point! 

I want to be married.

So badly. I mean, I would never give up school or the career I’m pursuing to get married right now, but I see all these married couples and I want it to be me. I use to think that I didn’t want to be like Mom and Dad, but since Uncle Tom died, I see how much they really need each other and how they really are soulmates. They fight, yeah, but then they can really have great moments together, too. I want those few years right after you get married when it’s just the two of you in the house together, sharing special moments. And then you have a baby and life seems like it can’t get any better. I guess I’m just antsy to be a wife and a mom, because I really can’t wait for that part of my life to come along.

Most women have never realized intellectually, but many have been dimly half-conscious, that woman’s nature is set to rhythms over which man has almost no more control than he has over the tides of the sea. While the ocean can subdue and dominate man and laugh at his attempted restrictions, woman has bowed to man’s desire over her body, and, regardless of its pulses, he approaches her or not as is his will. Some of her rhythms defy him – the moon-month tide of menstruation, the cycle of ten moon-months of bearing the growing child and its birth at the end of the tenth wave – these are essentials too strong to be mastered by man. But the subtler ebb and flow of woman’s sex has escaped man’s observation or his care.

Married Love by Dr. Marie Carmichael Stopes

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