Coercive rape

There seems to be little information out there on coercive rape, and that is troubling because it is extremely prevalent. What is even more troubling is the lack of recognition coercion gets because it doesn’t fit an idealized rape script, and is often dismissed as merely “bad sex”, which it’s not. 

In order to understand it, lets define rape first. 

Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person’s consent.

Consent is not just about saying yes, or a lack of a clear no. Consent only counts if it is enthusiastic, given by someone who is able to consent (sober) and was not obtained by coercion. Consent can also always be revoked. 

This means that if your partner has not created a safe environment for you to say no, the consent was not given freely. 

Coercion is simply anything a person does to make it harder for their partner to say no. 

Some of the examples are :

Guilting (saying you owe them sex because they did something, such as pay for dinner)

Threatening body language

Nagging - Continually asking for sex after you have already said no

Verbally threatening

Manipulation 

Blackmail

The list goes on.