How to Kill (A Wednesday Night)Beast
10:08pm: One room, two subjects. Human and enormous horsefly. One of the two will die. With the door closed, the combatants are locked together in a dance of death.
*Cue a synthy loop that sounds like R2D2 stuck in an echo chamber.*
10:10pm: The fight is treacherous due to the inordinate quantity of musical gear littering the floor. The human must tread lightly, lest he suffer a broken foot or guitar.
10:16pm: First blood goes to the human! A swift swing of a flattened palm connects with the horsefly and sends it stunned under the desk, just out of reach.
10:20pm: The horsefly recovers its senses begins dive-bombing the human. The human emits a string of terrified curses at the horsefly, but the words seem to have no effect on the creature.
10:23pm: The human, apparently frustrated beyond the breaking point, pulls out the Thursday mailer from the week before and begins slamming it around the room. This cheap trick manages to knock over Pringles cans, microphone stands, and the last walls of dignity, but only succeeds in sending the fly back into hiding.
10:25pm: The human traps the horsefly in a corner. With one final, fatal swat the game is up. Neither side claims victory; the horsefly is dead, yet the human has reduced himself to beast. Lame.
*Cue stupid Nirvana ripoff.*