"homeless and hungry. will do anything for food."

sooo, i decided to go for an hour-long stroll today instead of eating lunch.  well, i didn’t plan on skipping the meal, but i couldn’t find a single place with food that i wanted to eat.  and i’m still not very hungry after last night’s frat-bro dinner (when bros eat, they eat hard).

so obviously, given my nonexistent sense of direction, i managed to get lost.  i walked only about four blocks and i already had no clue where i was.  i ended up exploring the great nooks and crannies of the great city of philadelphia.

i usually would opt for the more sedentary way of spending my lunch hour (i.e. sitting in my office on the computer trolling away), but i can do that for the other eight hours of the work day.  give the fact that FLORA LEFT ME FOR HOT UK MEN, i started out solo into the scary summer streets of philly.

some things stood out to me during my (s)troll, so i figured i’d just list a bunch of them so they’d get off my mind:

• homeless youth? 

so i was walking down some street and saw a kid, around 18 to 25 years old, sitting on the sidewalk outside an urban outfitters unpacking his guitar.  in the guitar case he had a sign that read, “homeless and hungry. will do anything for food.”  my reaction can be summed up in the face of this baby:

BUT WAIT.  said homeless youth lifted his head to reveal he owns an extremely attractive face. D: i died a bit.  maybe he’s a plant by urban outfitters…tugging at the heartstrings of young americans to lower their defenses so they spend bajillions of dollars at their overpriced store of wannabe-hipster clothes.

so now i have a PLAN.  tomorrow i will return to the same location to see if cute homeless boy is there.  i want to know if he is actually homeless.  i’m so curious.  aaaand, since he’s so hungry and i’m so lonely thanks to flora’s ditching me, maybe i’ll ask if he wants to eat lunch with me.  i buy you lunch if you keep me company?  is that like paying for friends?  but…BUT…he’s homeless!  and hungry!  (and good looking! :O )  I JUST WANT TO FEED THE HOMELESS, k?

• summer heat makes me sweat.

but only my back.  the rest of my body takes a lot more to break a sweat than my back.  i totally had visible sweat marks on my back ew.

• a lot of places to eat in this part of the city…

…if you’re looking for an upscale restaurant or byo.  or if you’re looking for a crappy gross-ass place.  but not a lot of places for good vegetarian food (unless you’re into asian food, which i am, but after eating tofu bibimbap probably 30 times over the past two months, i’m concerned i’ll actually start turning korean if i continue at this rate).

• the gayborhood is nearby, apparently.

in the process of losing myself in the streets of philly (literally and figuratively), i stumbled upon the edges of the gayborhood.  it’s very easy to know when you’re there because all of the street signs have rainbows under them.  is this the real life?  now it makes sooooo much more sense why i always see so many gays walking around down here.  THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM.  EVERYWHERE.

• making eye contact with strangers makes me so, so, super uncomfortable.

the eyes of strangers bore holes in my soul.  the problem is, i like to look at people whom i’m walking past (especially because i’m clumsy and i’m known to bump into objects or people when not paying attention).  but that doesn’t mean they need to reciprocate and look at ME.  always feel judgedjudgedjudged. especially because the average level of male attractiveness in this neighborhood of the city is quite high.  too many good looking people. attractive people scare me.