But wait

The first troll mother

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raised troll jesus.

The first troll father

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raised troll satan.

(Art source: http://spuddylite.deviantart.com/art/LORD-ENGLISH-267087793)

REMEMBER WHAT DOC SCRATCH SAID 

HE’S ALREADY HERE

GUYS CALIBORN WAS NEVER LORD ENGLISH

IT WAS ALWAYS JACK

HE WAS ALWAYS THERE RIGHT FROM THE START

OH MY GOD I CANNOT COPE WITH THIS REALIZATION 


guys i figured it out

i know how they’re going to beat lord english

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As Lord English is charging his laser breath attack to finish off our heroes, a whole ham flies out of nowhere and lodges itself in his throat. Lord English chokes to death. Homestuck was just really long “Inappropriate Time for Ham” comic the whole time. 

Anti-Lord English secret weapon.

It was obvious, how could we not find out before?

So if the Felt is made to emulate a game of Pool.

The members are the different balls.

Doc Scratch the Cue ball and English himself the Billiards Stick.

We all know this from a long time ago. So what is the only thing that can affect the stick in a game of Pool?

Yes.

Exactly.

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THE ULTIMATE WEAPON.

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