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“I can’t compete with a fantasy.”
Can I just talk about how upset that makes me for a minute?
Have you ever had a fantasy, Adam? Do you know what a fantasy is?
A fantasy is a figment of your imagination, a dream or a wish or a prayer. A fantasy is contrived, made up of your thoughts and ideas, of intangible guesses and improbable ideals. A fantasy is perfect, flawless, wonderful.
Fantasies are as far from reality as you can be. Fantasies don’t hurt, fantasies don’t cause fear or stress or worry. Fantasies are escapes, daydreams, illusions.
And Blaine? Blane Devon Anderson, Kurt’s first (real) kiss and first boyfriend and first love and first everything that matters? Blaine is not a fantasy.
Blaine isn’t a fantasy because Kurt knows him forward and backward, inside and out, from his curly head to his baby toes. Kurt has counted the freckles on his back and played with the little hairs above his belly button and kissed every inch of his neck. Kurt has heard his laugh and his sob and his moan. Kurt has made him cry and made him beg and made him yell. Kurt has seen his hair natural and gell-free, has smelled his morning breath, has felt the brunt of his anger and his hurt and his sadness.
Blaine isn’t a fantasy because he has hurt Kurt and offended him and embarrassed him. He asked too much. He gave less than he should have, less than Kurt deserved. He cheated and lied. He broke what should have been unbreakable, he did the unthinkable, the nearly unforgivable.
And yet, for all his faults, Blaine is not a fantasy because of his virtues, too. Blaine isn’t a fantasy because he has surprised Kurt and loved him and cherished him. He kissed Kurt when he least expected it. He sang to Kurt and with Kurt and about Kurt. He showered Kurt with gifts and affection and love. He made Kurt believe and hope and trust and love and fall and fall and fall.
Have you ever seen a fantasy do all of that? Have your fantasies crushed your dreams and yet made them come true, too? Do your fantasies have lives of their own; hopes and dreams and fears and faults? Do your fantasies keep you up at night, shaking with uncontrollable tears? Do your fantasies make your feel like you are flying, soaring, more alive than every before? Do your fantasies make you feel so much that your heart nearly bursts?
Blaine is not a fantasy. Kurt and Blaine and their relationship - past, present and future - is not a fantasy. Kurt knows Blaine better than he knows himself, knows his sins and his shortcomings and his perfect imperfections. Kurt knows what they can be together, how they can laugh and fight and love. Kurt knows Blaine far better than he could know any fantasy.
Finn was a fantasy, when Kurt dreamt of their impossible, slightly beefy, yet well-dressed children. But, in true fantasy fashion, Kurt’s ideas of Finn didn’t match up to the real Finn; the Finn that would mock him and hurt him and hug him and become his brother. Sam was a fantasy, when Kurt thought that beneath that head of “natural” blonde hair was a dream come true. And when Sam proved to be straight and not, actually, a dream at all, that fantasy stopped, too.
But Blaine? Blaine is so much more than all of that combined.
Blaine is sloppy kisses and gropes in the back of a Prius. Blaine is muffled sobs and sniffles back stage or on the fire escape. Blaine is bow ties and colorful pants and gelled hair. Blaine is a teenage dream and a somewhere only we know and a come what may. Blaine is every enigma and mystery and contradiction wrapped up in one pint-sized, beautiful boy. Blaine is slow-dancing at prom and sipping coffee in the Lima Bean and singing romantic duets. Blaine is fighting and disagreeing and forgiving and laughing and loving. Blaine is a friend and a lover and a kiss and a promise. Blaine is family. Blaine is home.
So, no, Adam, you are not competing with a fantasy. You are competing with something completely and utterly real. You are competing with the most real thing in Kurt Hummel’s life, with the most real thing in the world. You are competing with true love, with soul mates and destiny and fate and meant to be.
You might not think you can compete with a fantasy, and you might be right. But, I can promise you one thing: Blaine Anderson is not a fantasy, and you still can’t compete with him. Try your best, Adam, I dare you. Just know that, one day, the very real Blaine Anderson is going to win. It’s inevitable. It’s fate.