TSK: Well oil be damned (The Official Novelization)

Lessons learned from a patient today:

• If you’re a guy working in your garage, and you need to store some extra charcoal lighter fluid somewhere, using an old water bottle will make sense.
• But you won’t bother labeling the bottle with “LIGHTER FLUID” or “NOT ACTUALLY WATER ANYMORE” — after all, who is going to come into your garage and take a drink from a greasy warm water bottle sitting up on the top shelf next to the bag of charcoal briquets?
• Your wife. Your wife will do that.
• And she won’t even smell the contents first — just take a nice warm swig and then spit some of it out when she realizes it “tastes funny.”
• Also, turns out that inducing vomiting in yourself after drinking lighter fluid is BAD. The hydrocarbons are essentially harmless in your GI tract (just causing cramping and diarrhea for a few hours until they slide on through), but if you were to aspirate any of the stuff while making yourself vomit, you’ll earn yourself a trip to a toxicology center for observation of possible chemical pneumonitis. 

Quote of the Day: "Just Light the Bag!"

Why: I grabbed one of these at the store for our Echo Lake fishing/grilling today, being extremely confident in my ability to light and maintain a charcoal fueled fire. More realistic instructions would have been as follows:

1. Just light the bag!

2. Then stand there disappointed when it doesn’t stay lit.

3. Then open it with your pocket knife, stuff in some shredded paper towels and twigs and light it again!

4. Then become increasingly frustrated when it continues to not ignite.

5. Then swear to your friends that you were right not to buy the lighter fluid and that you have the situation under control.

6. Then send someone out looking for firewood.

7. Then use your BBQ tongs to move useless briquettes aside and make room for your wood fire.

I would like to point out that the review of this product on the Kingsford website is pretty crappy too.

Sarah