Yeah, I listen to Paul Williams

and think about crazy life things late at night. Everything feels so slow lately. Not that I want time to fly by…I’ve finally realized what that does - it makes you miserable when you realize just how MUCH time has gone by.

I heard “There Is” by Box Car Racer at work today and reminisced how important that song was to me when I was a teenager; the simplicity of everything that I had at that time. All I ever wanted at that point was for time to hurry up. I wanted to grow up so bad - and here I am. Wow…where’s the time go? Grieves has it right:

It’s like I’m moving at light-speed  -slow down. … You need to slow down every once and awhile. Cause you don’t (no), you don’t (no) - you don’t need to go…so fast.

As much as I think I tend to fear my future and regret much of my past, I’m somewhat excited to see where I’m headed.

As of late I’ve been sacrificing my sleep for a girl who seems quite promising in making my future that much more bright — that much more fulfilling. I say it all the time, but she truly is a beautiful girl: inside and out. She’s someone…so far, that I can see myself really working with; really enjoying little things with. Like waking up in a super cold apartment, starting the day with hot coffee and a cigarette in our empty but established kitchen; like going on long walks at night in the city and feeling so small in comparison to our surroundings, but knowing that her hand firmly in mine solidifies my place and keeps me grounded. Like falling asleep with my arms around her to the sound of her heartbeat and the subtle tides of her breathing. — it’s amazing to picture these things. I hate to say I can’t wait…but I can’t wait for this part of my life.