“"New year, new me.." shut the hell up, you're still the same idiot that you were at 11:59. :|”
—Shak aka teydaddyoppa (this had me rolling)the couch is moving // nuke
Niall got drunk. Why? He was sick of his shit of a life. Everything was falling down on him, and when he was drunk, he wanted to make love. Usually, he goes for Marisa. But today was odd. He wanted … Luke. Wait, Luke? Yes, Luke. He pulled out his phone and started texting him, letting out small and innocent-feeling laughs at his replies. It was obvious that he was also drunk. Why? Niall hadn’t a clue. When he heard the doorbell ring, the blonde ran over, flinging it open. “Come innnn!!” He happily giggled, letting him enter. “Couch.” Niall instructed, closing all the blinds and any other place where people could see what their doing. “That couch was moving.” He slurred, raising his eyebrows and pointing to the couch Luke was sitting on. “I am scared.”
- Fernanda: Hun i hoooome
- Me: Hi hun, how was work today?
- Fernanda: It was awful i hate that guy who does he think he is just cause he is the boss doesnt mean he is better than anyone if i had an uncle directing the company i could be the boss too! Ughhhhhh
- Me: Ah baby I know how u feel but now relax, go take a bath and I will make u dinner okay
- Fernanda: Okay but first bring me a beer
- Me: Okay here it is and im not ur slave just so ya know
- Fernanda: Dont u argue with me (WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?)
- Me: I AGRUE OK I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK FOR MYSELF
- Fernanda: NO YA DONT WHO SAID THAT WAS THAT AWFULL FRIEND OF URS WASNT IT LET ME REMIND U HER HUSBAND LEFT HER AND SHE GAINED 20 POUNDS (srsl im scared for our mental health)
- Me: NO I CAN OKAY ITS THE LAW OK THE LAW SPEAKS FOR ITSELF AND MARY WAS JUST TOO STUPID OKAY SHE IS STUPID SHE GOT DUMPED AND ENTERED IN A DEPRESSION PHASE OK I AM NOTHING LIKE HER U SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW U MARRIED A SMART WOMAN OK (yeah me too)
- Fernanda: U R BEING TOO SMART FOR MY TASTE I DONT LIKE IT OKAY STOP USING UR BRAIN SO MUCH OR I WILL GET A DIVORCE AND YOU WILL END UP LIKE FAT MARY READING FIFTY SHADES OF GREY AND CRYING ON A POTE IF ICECREAM
- Me: BUT LOVE ME OKAY U GOTTA LOVE ME EVEN WHEN I AM SMART OKAY U SWORE IN FRONT OF A PRIEST AND NO U WILL NOT GET DIVROCED OKAY U CANT DO THAT OR U WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT ME U KNOW THAT OKAY SO JUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM SMART AND DEAL WITH THAT
- Fernanda: NO I WONT I WILL PAY A PRISTITUTE TO FILL MY NEEDS IN FACT I MIGHT BUY HER VERYTHING WAS EASIER WHEN WE COULD JUST BUY PEOPLE WHY OB EARTH DID WE STOP
- Me: WELL OKAY LETS SEE IF SHE DOES THAT BETTER THAN ME I DOUBT SHE DOES AND THEN U WILL CRAWL UR WAY BACK TO ME BUT OH-OH I WONT BE HERE WAITING FOR U OKAY IN FACT I WOULD BE ON THE NEXT PLANE TO MIAMI WITH RICARDO U KNOW THAT SO YEAH DO WHAT U WANT
- Fernanda: I WILL BREAK UR PLANE AND U AND RICARDO WILL FALL AND DROWN AND DIE OKAY IM A PSYCHO DONT U DARE WOMAN
- And that's how I die.
