Day #8

HAHA LADY PARTS AHA HA HA.

No. Not funny.

I will as always explain.

Today was fine and wah waah wah wah wahh (my attempt at talking like a boring adult from Charlie Brown).

I was looking forward to seeing David, as I can now call him my friend. I didn’t see him until the end of the day when band was over (oh by the way my audition was bad I’m a Flute 2) and he asked when I wasn’t busy *EEK* I casually said “All next week, I don’t have any clubs or anything do so far” and then he said “Why not today?” and I told him the truth.

My mother is having surgery today. He said where… I… I did what any loyal friend would do and told him the truth.

Her lady parts.

I don’t think I even have a chance with David anymore… :(

Anyway he said “awkwardd” and he said he had to go leaving me wishing it was for her foot or knee.

Why is it always me? Really? REALLY?

blog *takes deep breath* blog ya later…..

It's just like going to Maaco

So everything is fine, this far nothing is irregular. YAY!!

I am going to have surgery. There are 3 things left and we are just going to hit them all at once. Much simpler than in and out and in and out and in and out… …I only have so many jokes about checking out my junk.

So there is a fibroid and a polyp that are likely the source of my current issues. There is also something else that the Dr. felt, but didn’t show up in the ultrasound which, FYI, my fibroid looked kind of like a cat - I really wanted to take a picture of the screen but there was the whole awkwardness of being in the midst of invasive ultrasound and then posting a picture for you guys that was taken DURING the invasive ultrasound. So they want to do a biopsy of my uterus to make sure everything is ok. And since they will be all up in my junk that is a very good time to do it.

None of this is particularly unusual, people just don’t talk about it. And since I was so scared because I didn’t realize how normal it is, because people don’t really talk about it, I am letting everyone know what is going on.

I am having surgery. It is routine. I will go under. There is a fibroid, a polyp and something they need to figure out. It is all normal, nothing looks sinister. And if I want to have kids, I’d have to address these issues sooner or later - so why not just do it the year I have already paid out most of my deductible?

  • Gene: What are the lady parts?
  • Tina: The vagina and the heart.

If only this were an acceptable response.

  • People: How are you today?
  • Me: Well, my uterus is ripping itself into pieces and shoving itself out through my vagina. But other than that, I'm just great.
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