the last few days have felt like a dream. a different kind of dream than i was used to with kelsey. on monday, i spent the whole day alone in madeline and becky’s apartment. initially i was just going to go to class, but then.. the weed.. and the beer.. and the shower with the music.. and more weed.. i don’t know, i couldn’t help myself (plus a long, enjoyable, and mostly constructive phone call with kelsey in which we politely agreed to stop talking to each other for a while). but i did go to my integrative seminar class at four! ..and fell asleep next to saeed for the whole of it. then i had dinner plans with dan at 6, so i slept for an hour in the library and later took him to the 2$ falafel place on st catherine. or rather he took me, i guess. but the point is that i managed to locate it this time (this is a shout-out to u, kate *is still embarrassed)! and after we ate, we decided to walk a little. he suggested we go somewhere for dessert. i told him i didn’t really know anywhere we could go for fancy desserts around guy-concordia, but i mentioned that kafein might have something, so we went there.
(aaand she switches from summary to narrative style) the lights were already dimmed downstairs and we took a seat at a table near the bar. a nice-looking waiter came up to us and gave us menus and dan asked if he had anything sweet. the chocolate lava tort was recommended to us, to which dan responded, with an amusingly exaggerated air of politesse, that that was in fact the “platonic ideal” of what he had been craving. the waiter laughed nervously. i blushed. dan muttered to me a minute later that the waiter was probably straight. we watched him for a bit and i agreed. soon after, we ordered drinks — a very girly sidecar for dan, and a mojito for me. we talked about everything in the world, as usual, and stared at one another adoringly, as usual. we ordered more drinks. i confided in him something about myself that i’ve only ever told kelsey when i was on mdma in my living room. he told me about his childhood. we shared stories about early signs of homosexuality we experienced, and he told me about the boy he was seeing. somehow, four drinks and a chocolate tort only amounted to 9.50$ each (i think the waiter just liked us very much), and on the way out, i was spooked to realize that the owner of the cafe, who had seemed so familiar to me when i’d initially walked in, was the crazy dude i met at steph’s monday who kept preaching about heroine to madeline and i. anyway, point is that that was terribly weird but kafein was a good time and surprisingly inexpensive. dan and i parted ways at around 10, and i sent him a text as i got on the bus: “if it were now to die ‘twere now to be most happy” (a mrs. dalloway quote, or if you want to be technical about it, an othello quote), which i meant quite sincerely at the time. he responded with “you are glorious xxx” and i knew at once that he could identify and appreciate the reference.
the following day, i met him in his office on greene avenue after school to pick up my ticket for the gala. i had the pleasure of meeting his co-workers (one of whom, a woman named clark, told me it was a lovely surprise to learn that dan actually had friends—cute). they soon left and dan and i sat in the conference room and talked over a couple of cold beers. i accompanied him shopping for whatever he needed for his trip to the amazon (malaria pills, galoshes, sunscreen, etc) and then we parted ways.
i don’t know why i’m telling you all this. mostly to preserve memory i guess.
