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A brief summary of the careers of British comedians
- David Mitchell: I will act unbelievably posh and heartwrenchingly lonely, only to burst out with a meaningless rant in 3...2...1...
- Michael McIntyre: Ihopeyoucanunderstandmewheni'mtalkingthisquicklybecauseifnottoughlucksuckah
- Stephen Fry: Good evening good evening good EEEEEEVENING DARLING OH I LOVE YOU ALL YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO INTELLIGENT LET'S HAVE A JOLLY GOOD QUIZ SHALL WE?
- Russell Howard: Let me tell you a story about my adorable and crazy family while simultaneously being adorable and crazy.
- Jon Richardson: WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU TOUCH ME!!! Oh, I'm so lonely...
- Noel Fielding: So once there was this walrus named Georgie and he floated around the sky for a bit and then he landed and turned into a unicorn and mowed over a group of tourists. Do you like my cape?
- Dara O'Briain: Ehhhhh.....
- Miranda Hart: -falls over-
- Sarah Millican: Aren't I cute? Forgive me while I swear for a bit and tell embarrassing stories about my boyfriend.
- Jack Whitehall: I'm going to sit here being adorably posh while complaining about how much I hate Robert Pattinson.
- Simon Amstell: I'm precious and every girl in the audience cried when they found out I was gay.
- Russell Brand: SEX