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You Might be a Jehovah's Witness...
…if “pioneer” is not a stereo,
…if “new light” is not something in the housewares department,
…if “tract” has nothing to do with land or farming,
…if you know when Nisan 14 of the Jewish calendar lands in the Gregorian calendar from year to year, and yet you commonly forget your own birthday,
…if “Memorial Day” isn’t in May,
…if you spent days at a baseball stadium, never saw a ball, and didn’t even have a beer,
…if you wash windows or cars for a living and still own five suits,
…if you think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use the bathroom,
…if you know the cleanliness of every coffee shop for miles around,
…if you think 2-door vehicles aren’t really cars,
…if you go to the hardware store, go down the aisle where doors are displayed and you feel compelled to knock on them,
…if you can’t buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how comfortable they will need to be while walking residential streets in 95°F (35°C) heat,
…if you have a tendency to refer to books by color instead of by title,
…if you have a shelf just for 192-page books,
…if you can’t pick up a book, or anything else to read, without picking up a pencil or highlighter too,
…if you think it is complimentary to refer to someone as “a study,”
…if you have “get-togethers” rather than “parties,”
…if, after one of such “get-togethers” at your home, your house is not a mess and you have more food than when you started,
…if all your lapels have badge holes,
…if you have 12 servants, but you do your own cooking and cleaning,
…if you stay in a hotel 200 miles from home, and know all the other guests,
…if you shave on Saturday mornings,
…if every play you’ve ever seen has actors with fake beards,
…if you’re more afraid of the dentist than of speaking in public,
…if you get up early on January 1st,
…if “remnant” doesn’t remind you of carpet,
…“RV” doesn’t make you think of a motor home,
…“street work” doesn’t remind you of construction,
…“Witness” doesn’t make you think of court, and
…“circuit” never reminds you of electricity.
You might be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses if…
…you realize things are getting worse, and you’re thrilled!
Date a Guy who Serves Jehovah
DATE A GUY WHO SERVES JEHOVAH.
Date a guy who regularly attend meetings in the Kingdom Hall, not because he is forced to, but because he really wants to. He is the guy who raises his hands to give his heartfelt comments during the Watchtower study. He is the guy whom you see in the stage speaking God’s word.
He is the guy who dresses up not for parties but instead to attend assemblies and conventions. He is the guy who hated to miss one, and when you sit beside him you can see that he is really listening, taking down notes and looking up for the bible verses. He could also probably be the guy who stands on the stage in front of other brothers and sisters sharing his experiences and why he decided to serve Jehovah.
He is the guy who often shake hands with the older brothers or sisters and smiling at them during lunch breaks at conventions and making new friends inside the congregation. He is the guy who smiles at you when you caught each other’s eyes.
He could also be the guy who would stop going to the university not because of failing grades, but because he chooses to serve Jehovah God and become a pioneer, to serve Him full-time without any distractions.
Find this guy who spends his time not for smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohols but rather in the field ministry. He is that person who you see regularly at the field ministry with a smile on his face happy to be spreading and teaching Jehovah’s word. He is always ready to answer the questions of people he visited during the field ministry.
He is the guy who only dates in the name of Jehovah God, he is not perfect like every other man, but he will certainly not take advantage of you because he knows the bible’s principles. He will never force you into something you do not like. He is a responsible guy and he respects your decisions. He doesn’t flirt with other girls because he knows what loyalty is and he doesn’t play with a girl’s feelings. He is the guy who doesn’t believe in sex before marriage and rest assured he knows how to make you feel his love for you.
Date a guy who serves Jehovah God and loves Him with all his heart because you deserve it.
Or, better yet marry a guy who serves Jah.
“Marry only in the name of the Lord.” -1 Corinthians 7:39