When every muscle is screaming out no;

Listen to that the one thought that says go.

can you give me some motivation to study for my finals?

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my goal to achieve perfection makes my life a living hell

Not having interwebz access at home makes it easy to study, hard to work and more difficult to kill time.

Good luck to those in exams right now. I feeeeeeeeeeeel your pain

“when you talk about music, your face is beautiful.”

—ten to eleven hours of studying. then train rides with ira glass. this is my life now.

School.

I wish I would’ve done better this last semester. I slacked off. The last three weeks of the 2nd quarter I really pushed myself and brought my APUSH grade up and you know if I were to do that like from the beginning and started off strong, got help when I needed it and stopped getting distracted by the stupid shit I wouldn’t be so worried about the report card on Tuesday. 

I know for a fact that I can do way better than this. I mean I’m not failing but I’m not doing great either, the trouble I’m having are in all my weighted classes. The other classes were just pulled down I think because of them but I’m probably just coming up with excuses. 

I dont want my parents to be disappointed in me because first I dont want them to worry about me all the time and second I’m already disappointed in myself enough.

I know I can do this I just have to give my all. I talked to my teachers and they told me that it will balance out if I do really well this semester so thats what I’m going to do. 

I like proving people wrong but I think I need to prove my own self wrong and tell myself that I can get this done and done the right way. I need to stop procrastinating, study harder and better, and not let people get in my way of whats best for me and how I should live my life. I have big dreams and I’m not going to let anything else distract me anymore. So from now on if anyone tries to get ahold of me, anything that can distract me like my phone and internet will be off until I’m done studying.

I have 4 more months as a second chance, I just need my parents to have faith in me that I’m not going to fuck this up again. Because I wont. And thats a promise.

“With great sacrifice, comes great reward! ”

—

Okay forreals this time. I gotta try harder this year. I keep telling myself that it’s going to be worth it in the long run. Hopefully I’m going to stick to this promise to myself, and live up to it. Last year, I don’t even know what I was thinking. I’m disappointed in my own self. This is just sad. I guess I’m going to have to give up my social life :( 

Play
  • Mallory: Girl, you're going to overwork yourself.
  • Me: Yeah well I rather overwork myself than do nothing. It'll pay off in the end.

Dec. 29

Started my day off with 2 donuts (not my best choice), but ended my day with a nice bowl of salad, an ear of corn, and some cuties :) (everyone asked if I was a vegetarian lol). Also did 30 minutes free stepping on the wiifit, and did some corework. Planning on doing a lot of cardio and running tomorrow! :)

Back home from the 8-5 job yup yup

i hate sleeping with my invisalign thingys. it’s like sleeping with a bra on. Annoying.

Changing my embouchure

This sucks booty

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