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When my friend & I discuss how we surf the web

Ian:  I lurk the deepest and darkest recesses of the interwebs for my material. I’ve seen things that would make a grown tauren cry.

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Me: Oh, you think internet is your ally, you merely adopted the interwebs. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t see WiFi till I was a man.

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Hunawha?

A representative of the face I make at the computer: 

Wife is listening to same 4 songs on repeat for last hour: 

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But I’m cool, still like: 

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Suddenly, wife gets up and walks towards me: 

 

I’m like: 

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AND THEN SHE RANDOMLY LICKS THE BACK OF MY NECK AND MAKES A BUNCH OF “OMNOM” SOUNDS AGAINST MY SHOULDER AND THEN CALMLY WALKS BACK TO HER COMPUTER. 

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It all started because I wanted to see what all the talk was about...

Two guys going through labor pains??? Sounds like a good experience for men to realize child birth….

*watching videos* haha serves men right…. women ARE tougher. ha. hahaha….

oh, youtube says I should watch this video on a boy who was born and later had a “tumor” that turned out to be his twin that never fully separated… interesting…

oh… they recommend I watch csections now… I’ve never done that before. Maybe I can handle it. *watches* OMG OMG OMG HOW AM I WATCHING THIS WHY AM I WATCHING THIS…

*curious me asks* I wonder what a real child birth is like… surely less traumatic than that right?? 

O.O < me after watching both a normal birth and water birth

VAGINAS GET THAT BIG?! ARE YOU SURE THAT ISN’T PHOTOSHOPPED? HOW ARE THOSE MOTHERS NOT DEAD… WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE KIDS. NO. NO NO NO NO NO.

Needless to say it’s been a crazy night and I am now avoiding youtube…. 

Guys! LOOK AT THIS! Here's a way to make money off of using Bing as your search engine instead of Google! It's super fast, easy, and free! Check it out :)

http://go.microsoft.com/?linkid=9778718&rrid=_4be894ac-2384-5ddc-7eb8-635c1f4f5e13

My eyes are popping out of my skull—»

Dedicated-intrigued—»not-at-all-regulated

internet-surfing all day long.

WTF.—»MY LIFE.

Surfing.

  • Boy 1: You athletic?
  • Boy 2: Yeah, I surf.
  • Boy 1: Cool.
  • Boy 2 : The internet.

A Story Told By Me

So this is a story of what just fucking happened within the span of the day.

I had the day off so I of course I was surfing the net the whole time. I’ve been known to find some real weird shit when I do this, but what I experienced today was just mind blowingly amazing.

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Bleh . Bleh bleh bleh . BLEH ! Hate everything ! X_X

Ever find something you didn’t really want to , but you looked for it anyway … and when you found what you were looking for , you were like “why the fuck did I just go crazy looking for that !? I’M GOING TO PUKE FROM SEEING THIS !

yeah , anyway . I can taste a mixture of two parts disgust , five heapings of regret , and possible a dash of vomit in my throat . fuckkkkkk . why did I just do that to myself ?! WHAT THE FUCK !!!???!!!?!

on a side note , which is far better of a statement than any of the above , I’m finally reading TFIOS (The Fault In Our Stars by the ever-so-amazing JOHN FRIGGEN GREEN !) and I’m zipping through it . I’m actually reading it aloud to myself , which makes it seem to go by faster . should I prolong this reading session and read in my head , or read aloud and get to the I’m probably going to cry parts ? HMM !

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