The Pros and Cons of Dating This Guy I Just Met on The Internet
- Will buy me things.
- Will get to play with his dogs.
- Bangin body I get to stare at for a few hours.
- We can meet up with my friends and have one of ‘those nights.’
- Maybe he can do that dirty dancing thing with his arms.
- He has a really weird name and I love saying weird names.
- Maybe he is ‘the one.’
- Maybe he is ‘the one that will buy me some earrings.’
- He could cut me up and put me in the trunk of his car.
- ‘Old pictures.’
- Maybe his dogs aren’t even cool.
- He is really old and what if he has a heart attack and dies.
- Probably secretly married.
- May have to ‘lose him’ between drinks and meeting up my friends. Forced to assuage guilt with shots.