But, Maybe I Want to be a Circus Clown
We’re more ambitious as kids, because we’re less worried about what the feedback will be.
No one is ever harsh to a child. They just say, “Nice try…try again” or “That was great…keep practicing.” So, they do. Consequently, something amazing happens. These very kids that we encouraged to “keep trying” become exactly what they want to be. They become doctors, lawyers, artists, dancers, musicians, etc. Better yet, many become the best at what they do, because thanks to this encouragement, they have put in the necessary hours to do so.
When we become adults, the popular viewpoint is, we can’t be bad at something.
We’re adults, we should be able to do things properly. We’re educated, thus, we’re fit for a 9-5, and that’s all we are fit for, right? And it’s preposterous to think we haven’t yet discovered what we really want out of life or what we’re meant to do with our lives. We’re adults, we should have this shit figured out, right…right(Kanye Voice)??
But maybe, deep down, you’ve always wanted to be a circus clown.
In fact, you think you could be a pretty damn good circus clown if you put you’re mind to it. And you want to find out for yourself. Congratulations! Here are the implications you now face with this decision as an adult.
Tell anyone you know that you want to be a professional circus clown and people would without a doubt, laugh their asses off at you. Don’t even waste your time thinking otherwise, they would. And 99% of us would buy into that brutal criticism and think “they’re right, what the hell am I thinking” and consequently never see it through.
And the reason you never see it through is because of that period in which, to cut straight to the point, you will suck shit at being a circus clown, and this will only solidify/worsen their ridicule of you. Ira Glass refers to this period of sucking shit (which are my words not his) as a necessary step in the process for every successful person.
What we lack the hindsight to understand is, everyone goes through this. Take into consideration for a second, how much shit Michael Jordan sucked, when it came to baseball. With that said, to the person who ever tries to tell me Michael Jordan wouldn’t have been amazing at baseball had he not kept at it…I will slap you silly.
On top of that, this experience of subjecting ourselves to public scrutiny, may be the single most important experience we will ever go through in our lives. Especially as adults. To accept a starting point of 0, or even -100, as an adult is tremendously hard. And getting comfortable being struck down and ridiculed time and time and time again…that is even harder. It takes courage, it takes challenging yourself to the ultimate degree, it takes accepting that you suck (maybe the thing we’re worst at).
But, this process…is exactly how you grow.
You grow in this way for one simple reason. That laughter, that ridicule, that striking you down, ironically… is 100% warranted on their part. This is your 18 years later, 100X harsher, and now fellow adult, judgement meter.
When you were six, they expect you to suck, so they thought they’d be nice and non-harmfully lie to you as encouragement. When you’re grown they tell you the truth. So, what once was “That’s great, keep trying” is now “HAHA, dude, seriously what the fuck are you doing?..You know you’re making a fool out of yourself, as well as me for being your friend, right?”
But you believe in yourself, you believe in yourself so much it doesn’t matter what they say. So, you push on….and although you suck…you take that scrutiny, that doubt, that embarrassment, and you grow. You do something everyday, and you suck, and you suck, and you suck…shit; until one day, you don’t. One day, you’re actually pretty terrible, but not horrendous.
And you repeat this process. Everyday. Until another day long after, when you look up and you barely recognize yourself, because you’ve made so much progress. And you learn something pretty important along the way.
You learn that what matters most in this world is being who you want to be as a person. You learn that putting yourself out there taught you how to be yourself. How to accept yourself. That standing for something is a rarity. And that nothing else in the world compares to personal growth. Nothing.
“I feel so privileged to have had you in my class and now to know it has made a difference in your life. Thank you again! You made my day. Please keep in touch and let me know how the masters program goes. I really want to follow your successes.”
—Keep in touch with your teachers from high school and you get gems like this.
jan-16-2012
Morning SUNSHINES!!! sooooo yesterday was a kind of sort of cheat day but not really it was in a sense that I had noodles and company and the guy “accidently” made me a large when I asked for a small, (I think it was his attempt at being nice…fail) so of course I ate the whole thing, but it WASN’T a cheat day because I didn’t go over my caloric intake for the day. I had eaten the noodles around 4 so I was basically STARVING from 4pm yesterday to 10 this morning,whatever that was yesterday. SO today was a little different then planned, my ten month old had a fever last night and was up half the night and morning so I didn’t go to muay thai today :(, but I did run 2 miles and do some strength training, so all wasn’t lost. I just want to say that I hardly ever think about cheating and if I do, I don’t cheat because I feel like I have come too far to just throw it all away….I like thinking like that :) have a good day everyone!
What are you waiting for?
I was reminded of how frightening “The Waiting Place” truly is. Most of us live in that place without realizing it. If you’re waiting for the right time to do something - phone a friend, change careers, maybe start a business or worst, LIVE. Then you’re in The Waiting Place.
So, what are you waiting for? Read on. Enjoy. Reflect.
Oh, the Places You’ll Go! (by Dr. Seuss)
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.
OH!
THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So…
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
Jan-9-2012
IM BACKK!!! from my hiatus this weekend I went to visit my sister in NC and, Im not going to lie, I CHEATED but only with my dinners, we went to macaroni grill and I ate a lot of bread! which is bad, but yesterday I only ate about 600 calories and I power walked for 40 minutes, so basically I’ m STARVING right now, I’m about to go eat some breakfast. Anyway I just have something to say about the start of weight loss, I think once you get past the first week of changing your lifestyle and working out, then its really easy (well at least for me) to come to terms with the fact that your changing your life and it takes time, and you probably wont see results till the end of the month, but the way I see it Ive almost been at this diet thing for two weeks in 4 days and that was one of my goals, to stick to this for two weeks and I’m doing it :)!! in other news, I weighed in at 185 when I first started my weight loss journey, as of this morning I weigh 179.9 :) but weight does fluctuate so I could be back in the 180’s by tonight, as long as its closer to the 170 then the 190’s my first GW is 173, I plan on being there by the end of the month, hopefully, I’m having a super bowl party and I want to definitely be at my goal by the 5th so that roughly gives me 4 weeks, So I think I can do it! in other other news, I think I’m going to try something different as far as my workout regime, I have been trying to do 4 miles a day, but I think I’m going to up that to about 6 miles a day 3 miles in the morning and 3 at night, I think I can do it I’m just going to try it this week and see if I can handle it, so today at the gym ill do strength training and power walk 3 miles, sounds like a plan. OK ladies keep pushing on good luck on your weight loss journeys, and remember don’t give up its just the beginning :)
