It’s 2 am. Chef Baby has been rolling around in his crib all night. He cannot stop thinking about food. About how gently he stirs boiling water, and how the bubbles softly pop towards the top of the pot. About how easily the steam rises, how nicely fresh hot grits can destroy a young woman’s face, how tasty delicious an omelette with ham and cheese is.
Chef Baby, abandoning the long relinquished thought of sleep, climbs out of his wood prison and into the Living Room. He waddles towards the kitchen, longing to feel it’s cold tiles underneath his baby feet. Longing to hold that metal whisk in his hand, and feel the gentle breeze that comes in through the window. Always wanting one more moment of the kitchen, Chef Baby will never be at ease. He is so young, yet there is a void the kitchen has to fill for him. A large void that has been there for so long, he cannot remember it’s creation or it’s purpose.
Smiling softly under the dim oven lights, Chef Baby is in his territory. Home at last, he breaths in the kind scent of rosemary, the forgiving scent of paprika, the soothing touch of flour, the sweet taste of chocolate… Chef Baby gives a heavy sigh, he is growing weary of time outside the kitchen. He knows that he will be the greatest chef on earth, but that day seems so far away. Pushing away the thought, Chef Baby climbs on top of the oven and begins to prepare a meal. He carefully and gently sets down the ingredients, a large carrot, a round potato, a titillating onion, a smooth cucumber, perfect for anal penetration, and a large can of sinfully delectable broth.
Chef Baby takes pride in putting the ingredients together in a large bowl, gradually turning up the heat and mixing in more ingredients. He mixes and and mixes as the night’s end comes closer and closer, the moon retreating for a few more hours. But Chef Baby knows that it will come back. It will return to haunt him with his cold, prison cell. The moon will taunt him from the sky, where it will shine it’s cold gaze into Chef Baby’s heart, letting him know that it will always be empty. No matter how much Chef Baby cooks, he will always be empty inside, taunted by the moon. Taunted by his elders. But nonbelievers of his culinary prowess. But Chef Baby will show them. Chef Baby is unstoppable.
HOW TO FIND A CUTE PERSON TO DATE a guide by sarah grrrlfever
- ask ur followers on tumblr.com movie suggestions. this is like setting out a bear trap or some other thing 2 catch a wild animal. pretend this metaphor works and isn’t gross.
- wait for someone cute to suggest a movie. watch the movie
- if its a good movie you are soulmates, congratulations! now u just have to talk to the person about th emovie.
- say some stuff about it to them and they might say stuff back. congratulations! this is a conversation
- talk to them more maybe on a video thing like skype. you can talk about things that people normally talk about like what you did today or things you hate
- ask them out and that is all congratulations u are dating a cute person!!