North. West. South. East. Long ago, the fifty states lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when Romney attacked. Only Florida, master of 29 electoral votes, could stop him, but when America needed her most, she went undecided. Two hours passed and America discovered a new master, a state named California. And although its electoral votes are great, we have a lot left before he’s ready to save America. But I believe—THAT OBAMA FREAKING WON MOTHERFUCKERS
