Ayano's Happiness Theory
What I thought back on was, again, my family;
“Ayano’s your big sister, so get along with her, everyone!”
In a little house with red brick walls,
They whisper to each other, as if making secret plans
In the three pairs of red eyes brought here
Lies a past they’ve hidden from adults…
With fear in their eyes, they cry “I’m just a monster,”
So I tell them, “That’s not true at all,”
“Red is the color of a hero, so there’s no need to be afraid…”
Wondering what they’d find fun, I’m playing the big sister again;
“Hey, look at this!” I wrapped myself up in a red scarf;
“We’re like secret agents!”
Dyed in madder red, we’ll begin, even if we’re merely playing heroes
“As long as we can manage just a little smile…” We’ll be family still today…
I pray for happiness in the future ahead, so however sad it may be…
“Now keep this a secret!” The sun sets with us laughing…
The spring breeze blows, and the now-adult world
Is irrationally bent, as if conspired to be
The thick and faded tears of loved ones
Go unnoticed by all, turning black…
Things had gone crazy, but by the time I noticed,
I couldn’t tell anyone…
“No, no, I don’t want to be destroyed…”
There came a world where happiness ends…
“Madder red, please. No more; don’t bring ruin to anyone else’s future.”
I thought as I cried again, keeping it hidden with a smile…
“If I had those red eyes myself, could I save someone’s future?”
Awkward and shameful, this is my lonely plan…
Now that I’m gone, I wonder if those secret agents
Are still getting along, and smiling together?
I’m sure they must be upset with me…
But I wonder if I’ve become their “big sister” now…
Please try to remember that word I loved;
“Happiness” is a curious thing,
So I hope you can love tomorrow…
Lost Time Memory
[Hey, it’s red jersey soda guy.]
Even after years, the shadow doesn’t fade;
It only invites more emotions
I crouched, and I drew alone
The blazing sun overhead, on a hilly road,
We walked, blurry figures,
The summer heat in our eyes
“Don’t mind me,”
“Just go off somewhere,”
And I brushed your hand away
“Don’t go,”
You said to me,
And grabbed mine back
“You’re so annoying!”
I walked a little bit ahead,
Without looking back
“What’s your real heart?”
With things like “wisdom,” I can’t look forward;
There’s no reason, so I keep rotting
If only things could be wound back…
As many years pass, I won’t die,
Always proclaiming hopeful ideas,
Even though, naturally, you’re still not here…
Saying “I don’t care, go die, go die,”
I grab my wrist and curse
I can’t do anything, so I just casually
Indulge in life
“If the summer can show us dreams,
Let’s go to before you were taken away,” I say…
The days I hid out of shame light up the air,
Scorching my mind…
A boy at the age of 18
Waited somewhere again
It’s a blurry silhouette, but
He remembers the shape
On a campus clear under a blazing sun,
You were smiling again
Again you said “let’s play,”
And gently swayed…
“I’m worried,” says an awkward face
Some neighbor wouldn’t understand;
Stop pretending to be so sad
Let’s keep living faint and unnaturally today,
Let’s keep to yesterday’s pace,
So I won’t forget your warmth…
If I’m wishing for a dream that can’t come true,
Then I may as well embrace the hurt past,
And have a dream I won’t wake up from
As if naturally, I secluded myself…
“So you can’t even see tomorrow, then?”
I’m perfectly fine with that…
I stain my hands to kill off the boring days,
Because I chose to be “alone”…
A rotten, 18-year-old youth
Was praying another day
Still clinging tight onto
Your colorful smile…
To the blazing sun I muttered, “Just take me with you, somehow”;
And my breath quietly stopped…
The voice of “Can you hear me?” vanished,
And I somehow understood the reason
I reached out to the summer warmth…
Under the blazing sun, a youth
Had wished to stand in the “then”
And your summery smile
Remained unchanging…
“I died. I’m sorry,” you say;
“Shall I say “goodbye”?”, you say;
Don’t say such lonely things, don’t go away
The silhouettes stood by,
And they watched me…
