Extraneous
Do you ever feel like you belong on the other side of the world?
Better yet - another planet entirely?
Or your thoughts are so radically different in relation to the surroundings in which you keep it’s unbelieveable you are even able to exist at all in the place you’re in?
I’ve always felt like somethings missing but it doesn’t have a face or a name, it’s this missing/lost/undefined yet definitive “something” in my life …. a blank canvas lays before me with an outline that has no shape yet something occupies the space and needs to be filled in with “something” ..
Or it’s like, instead of flowing with the current you’re hung up on this mossy branch whirlpool off to the side, waiting for some event to break you off to get you flowing down the stream again..
I feel incomplete and I have no idea what I need to do to complete myself.
Yet what do I fill it in with if I don’t know what shape it’s to take?
Sometimes I truly believe I’m from another planet. I look at things here and life as we know it and it turns alien to me. It’s this foreign place that makes no sense to me but doesn’t need to and at the same time my mind struggles with “no meaning,” trying to give it one, desperate for some sort of answer that I know I will never truly receive let alone understand….
Is it weird one day I believe I’ll look up and there will be this huge, glorious spaceship, waiting to take me home… ?
Say what?
Moving to a different region of the US is like moving to a different planet in some cases. I’m the alien and get told on a daily basis that I’m not from around here. (“I’m not??” *dumbfounded look*)
June 5th will mark 2 years since I moved from Utah to Tennessee. There are so many differences in everything. I get caught up in specific things people here say. The phrases and objects are different here than they are back there. For example:
In TN they call pacifiers “passies” (pacies?). In UT it’s a “binky”.
In TN they call shopping carts “buggies” (WHAT THE EVER-LOVING SHIT IS A BUGGY?!). In UT they call them “shopping carts” or just “carts”.
In TN they call knitted hats “toboggans”. In UT they’re “beanies”.
In UT they say “heck”, “crap”, “freak”, “fetch” and “dang”. I don’t know the slang swear words that people in TN use. Every type of soda (or pop here) is called a Coke in TN.
I’ve never heard the phrase, “Bless your heart”, until I moved here. Nor have I ever had anyone tell me to have a “Blessed” day at the end of a phone call.
What are some sayings or phrases that your area is known for?
I don't like sex.
I just don’t like it like the way to conect to the one you love.
I feel it too much human, material.
I rather connecting to another level. To be so honest, so transparent until you can see the soul of the other. To be one.
Then think of makin out.
Maybe that’s the reason i made it for the first time at 19, I don’t masturbate, or look porno, or have “sex”. I make love.
If isn’t love i don’t want it.
