Earlier today I cut off the bottom part of my jeans to make shorts, and afterwards when I had some material left I turned it into these fashion forward denim super hero wrist cuffs and a headdress

No one can catch the motherfreaking denim fox

that didn’t work

  • my dad: but honestly, what is england better than germany in?
  • me: two world wars and one world cup, doo dah, doo dah

Man all I want to do is have someone with a sexy voice speak at me about intelligent things and turn me on

you know what’s really funny is going into the ‘to be deleted’ tag

I feel so good and inspirational right now like what is going on, I need to bowl good all the time and eat popeyes mashed potatoes like what is this. 

brb going to write a book. 

wow, that last hour just flew by..

Sometimes I post things and wax on about something that I think is hilarious, often in the tags, but then NO ONE EVER COMMENTS ON IT and I feel stupid. 

my life is just a series of mini heart attacks triggered by my laptop running out of charge

my humor is wasted on everyone who doesn't get it.

i’m dry. i’m sarcastic. if you’re confused, i’m probably joking.

i’m funny okay gtfo

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