Give Me Faith
Elevation WorshipI need you to soften my heart
To break me apart
I need you to open my eyes
To see that You’re shaping my life
All I am,I surrender
Give me faith to trust what you say
That you’re good and your love is great
I’m broken inside, I give you my life
I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart
I need you pierce through the dark
And cleanse every part of me
I may be weak
Your spirit strong in me
My flesh may fail
My God you never will
I do nothing?
Well have fun doing all the things i “don’t do,” by yourself. I’m not looking for eternal gratitude, but i certainly don’t want attitude! I work hard in school, maintain a 3.6 GPA, I work 4-5 days a week after school, I have 2 AP classes that have a ton of Homework, keep my room pristine, do every chore, pay for my own gas, pay for my own insurance, pay for my own phone: BUT I DO NOTHING RIGHT?!?! That is fine though, i will just have to start being my own person and let you figure it out for yourself. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink!
Song for the Broken
Close Your EyesI still want a tattoo based off of this song…
It is in pure isolation where I can find my inner most strength, motive, and purpose. In solitude is where I can gain a peace of mind and heart, find a little insight within myself, and simply enjoy my own presence. It is only in seclusion where I can be still, and focus on my relationship with none other than my Lord himself.
There is no amount of time too small or too large to be still, as I constantly work with such loud clock. Amongst the silence and stillness is where I can find pure serenity, and find it deep within myself my real drive, my real willpower, where I can truly be thankful for the life I live, the people who love me and surround me, and everything else in between. There is no such thing as “not enough time” to count your blessings, to realize all that He has made good, to know that there is no other love greater than what He is providing, no other love that is selfless and always present. There is nothing so promising than that moment of realization. No drug can lift me to such a high as great as this, and I just can’t get enough.
Happiness is truly a state of mind. If you wish to be happy, you can be. Too much time is spent wasted thinking about what we don’t have, what we “need” instead of looking at what we have been blessed with, what is currently there, what is. And sometimes, that’s all you really need to get through a shitty day.
oh hardy har har
I finally have tumblr savior and I can’t work it.
It is added on but it won’t open up to let me put in the tags I want to escape. And the little guide says that a box will come up when I say Manage User Scripts… but a box does not pop up, it takes me right to some page, and then it doesn’t offer any edit function like the guide says it will.
Trauma.
Also the options place says it will let me edit the script but nothing happens when I click on the edit button, nothing at all. The fuck.
More hours in the day
I wish that there was some way I could add more hours in the day. To accomplish all the things that I need to do, I need about 40 hours in one day. Between work, the baby, cooking dinner and trying to keep the house clean (with a toddler around) is some days impossible.
I love my family and I feel blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people. I just get overwhelmed and sometimes feel like I am on the verge of losing it. Today was that kind of day. Everything seemed to be crashing down on my head.
But then I see on the news that there are people overcoming horrible ordeals with the storms, poverty and all other kinds of things and I feel guilty that I think I am having a bad day.
Before I fall into bed exhausted I am going to thank the Lord that I am lucky enough to have that bed and the roof over my head to sleep tonight. I will thank Him that I have my family and that I am not seperated from my husband because he has been sent to the middle east to fight and possibly die for this country.
I guess that being a mom and wife even on the worst days isn’t as bad as it could get. I shouldn’t complain. In the words on TLC “I seen a rainbow yesterday. But too many storms have come and gone not leavin a trace of one God given ray. I pray all ten fade away and seldom praise Him for the sunny days.”
And I’m sure you’re a nice girl, I’m sure you are. I mean from what I’ve experienced, you’re really cool. You’re cute and we like the same stuff, but listen, you don’t understand. Even If I tried, which I have been, I just can’t feel at the moment. It’s not you, it isn’t, I swear. This is just something I can’t be getting myself into again. Clearly, I’m not ready. Trust me, I’ve tried. I’ve tried really hard to feel something. You don’t understand, and I hope you never will. Honest to God, I hope you never will, because it’s the most gut wrenching experience ever. To feel hollow, to feel empty, to feel dead. Yeah, dead. I know it sounds really cliche and lame, but maybe there’s a reason why people explain it that way. I fear daily, that I’ll lose myself and give into anger. I struggle daily, and I mean daily. Some days it’s easier than others, but some days its extremely hard. However, there’s a good side to all of this. I’ve a healing hand against my side. The only thing that’s kept me from absolutely giving up, is that hand. It’s that love, that I feel that makes me alive. Like nothing ever happened, and I become to joyful. I can see the world for what it was first created for and it creates this sense of absolute worship for me. So I’ll hold on to that covenant for as long as I live, till I meet the one I’ve been praying for.
