Ok, so about two weeks ago, Tumblr user all-deans-friends-are-dead’s start of a Ke$ha parody went by my dash.  It contained the alternate lyrics for “TiK ToK” through the line “…cake…” and then stopped.  I couldn’t help myself, and finished the lyrics for the rest of the song.  That went around a little, and a couple of people poked me to record it.  I thought about it, tried it, and couldn’t get music on it, so chucked it.  But now I’m just tipsy enough, and the original came up on Pandora, so wtf, you know?  Of course, the result is me slightly drunk and stuffed up with allergies because I’ve been working with the horses a lot and so far off key I don’t even think that it has a lock at 3 am and still has no music and is absolutely 95 kinds of awful, but it was fucking fun, you can understand all the words - which is the point of the joke - and shit, this is Ke$ha, not Pavafuckingrotti. Of course, it would be amazingly awesome and appropriate if someone who knows how to do such things could get a backing track and autotune it and shit like that it could even be made cool, but that’s up to the whims of the internet.  Lyrics are below, italicised ones not mine.  Regular ones mine.

Wake up in the morning feeling like a hunter
Grab guns and salt, I’m out the door,
We’re gonna gank some mothers
Before I leave brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
‘Cause when we leave for the hunt we ain’t coming back

I’m talkin’ anti-possession tats tats
Followin’ monster’s tracks tracks
Got fake IDs in stacks stacks
I’m talkin’ listening to some tapes tapes
Trying to solve this case case
Sam didn’t get pie just cake….

Rock salt, Heckler-Koch
Smith and Wesson, Colt and Glock
Tonight, gonna fight
Til we see the sunlight
Take the shot, burn and salt,
But the monsters don’t stop, no 

Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh

Ship wars, demon whores,
There’s a hellhound at the door
Demon deals, all the feels, 
Lilith breaking all the seals
Take the shot, burn and salt,
But the monsters don’t stop, no

Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh

Ain’t got a care in the world but got plenty of beer
Ain’t got no money in my pocket but I’m already here
And now the angels coming down ‘cause they hear we are vessels
But we kick ‘em in the cage and just leave ‘em to wrestle

I’m talking everybody getting ganked ganked
Brothers all playing pranks pranks
Feds thinkin’ that we rob banks banks
Now now we go until they knock us out out
Or the police shut us down down
Police shut us down down
Po po shut us

Trucker caps, demon traps,
Wait ‘til season four for Cas,
White Light, I’mma smite
Til the demons flee or die
Take the shot, burn and salt,
But the monsters don’t stop, no

Oh oh oh oh 
Oh oh oh oh 

Meat suits, cowboy boots
Pour that Johnny Walker Blue
Sweet car, hit the bar
Gonna drive don’t care how far
Take the shot, burn and salt,
But the monsters don’t stop, no

Oh oh oh oh 
Oh oh oh oh 

You build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
Tie my hands up
You got me now
The sirens sound
Yeah, they got me

You build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
Tie my hands up
Put your hands up
Put your hands up

Now, the hunt don’t start ‘til I walk in

Motels, back from hell
Rites and sigils, ancient spells
Blood spray, not my day
Let’s just gank it anyway
Take the shot, burn and salt
But the monsters don’t stop, no

Oh oh oh oh 
Oh oh oh oh 

Mythic arcs, broken hearts
Got red herrings and false starts
Evil clowns, random towns,|
Fandom taking Tumblr down
Take the shot, burn and salt,
But the monsters don’t stop, no

Oh oh oh oh 
Oh oh oh oh