Hey I had a fun evening, sat on my laptop with my headphones in whilst my sister goes completely mad, and then I get a glass bottle chucked at me because I’m a fucking cunt apparently. YAY! for home being bloody shit still and no one is helping anymore, and YAY! for supported living making me completely miserable and feeling so alone and scared. My head is a wonderful place to be in at the moment.
god i apologize for vomiting my problems onto tumblr again and again
but on top of physical problems, it’s really depressing how my family is descending back into complete discord. it takes absolutely nothing at all to start everyone yelling at each other.
when i say nothing, i do mean nothing
(example: this evening, sitting, watching a movie. in five seconds flat, maybe five words are exchanged and suddenly everyone is yelling and i sit through the next hour grinding my teeth and digging my fingernails into my palms)
I can't keep living like this.
I’ve been getting yelled at for anything and everything lately, so I haven’t been home or even talking to my parents. My mom just came into my room questioning if I had a boyfriend, and she was positive that I had one. She wouldn’t tell me why she thought that, but she was convinced that I had one. So finally I told her what was really wrong, and what’s going on with Roosevelt University and she started yelling at me saying that I’m self-centered, and that I should be asking relatives for birthday money, and this and that. Then she started questioning me on why her house wasn’t good enough for me, because I should be able to drive back and forth to Chicago for my classes. When I told her that they would be every day, she said that I don’t know that for a fact and that I’m making up excuses.
Reality vs Expectations
What I had thought I would do tonight:
- study for math
- play some sims
- read “The Doll’s House”
- go to sleep by 10
What I actually did tonight
- watched a whole bunch of One Direction videos
- went to a show home (it was awesome, can i move?)
- watched American Idol and Vampire Diaries
- made a striped shirt for my Louis paper doll (cause he didn’t have one, wtf?)
- obsessed over Loki
- still on Tumblr at 11:40
Why is nothing the same?