Some of my favorite opening lines, translated through Gizoogle...
- A Season in Hell: Once, if mah memory serves mah crazy ass well, mah thuglife was a funky-ass banquet where every last muthafuckin heart revealed itself, where every last muthafuckin wine flowed.
- Anna Karenina: Kool as fuck crews is all alike; every last muthafuckin unaiiight gang is unaiiight in its own way.
- La Chute: May I, monsieur, offer mah skillz without hustlin tha risk of intruding, biatch? I fear you may not be able ta make yo ass understood by tha worthy ape whoz ass presides over tha fate of dis establishment
- Pride and Prejudice: It be a truth universally bigged up, dat a single playa up in possession of a phat fortune, must be up in want of a ho
- Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: Yo ass don't give a fuck bout mah crazy ass without you have read a funky-ass book by tha name of Da Adventurez of Tomothy Sawyer; but dat ain't no matter.
- If on a winter's night a traveler: Yo ass be bout ta begin readin Italo Calvinoz freshly smoked up novel, If on a winterz night a traveler
- L'Étranger: Mama took a dirt nap todizzle
- The Great Gatsby: In mah lil'er n' mo' vulnerable muthafuckin years mah daddy gave mah crazy ass some lyrics dat I've been turnin over up in mah mind eva since.
I'm anonymous, totally anonymous. I'm afraid to talk to you because ugh! You're ITALIAN! Italians are filthy! Don't you feel the shame on you? How dare you even walk out in the street? I'm so completely anonymous. You don't know me. Not at all.
ok this is funnier that it should be for some reason i’m laughing like an idiot.