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somewhere in my room is a phone with a text thats like 3 hours old and counting

There is something/one moving around downstairs but everyone is up here help I’m startled

I want Danny Pudi and Donald Glover to host the oscars. 

I can hear it already

Troy and Abed at the Oscars!

  • Hobbit Commercial: [plays]
  • Me: [makes pterodactyl noises]

shhh you hear that?? Its the sound of bloggers everywhere opening Photoshop  and cracking thier knuckles in preparation for Peeta’s Capitol Portrait

So, my roommate’s boyfriend is in our room

lying on our floor

drunk

puking in her trashcan as I type this

lovely. 

can you hear lionsgate laughing up their sleeves because they know we were waiting for news

because i can

You guys I think there might be a pigeon in my house….

According to multiple people, I sound like James from Pokemon. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or not.

omg so because it’s one of the olympic hosts my london borough is having this huge event around the field opposite my house and apparently ed sheeran and Ndubz are there and i’m actually crying because i can hear it but i can’t see it WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS

“Ohhhhhh”

—Johtron, my hero

I went to open my curtains more and then heard a buzzing and saw a mother fucking huge fly

so i just closed the curtains

slowly

WHERE IS CAT OH MY GOD MY HEAR

T WASN’T READY FOR THAT ART

OH MY GOD 

march 25th 2010

Michael uzowuru

imagine this uzowuru shit playing in the skate rink

instant pussy

rollerblade pussy

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(i’ve had) the time of my life (glee cast version) more like (i’ve had) the time of my life (kill myself version)

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