• Nami: I'm a vowel?
  • Me: You must have been left behind by the Great Vowel Shift
  • Me: Shafted by the Great Vowel Shift
  • Me: You must be a lax vowel
  • Me: it's funny because you're short

[[Now I'm just cruel.]]

  • Me: Hey
  • Me: Hey
  • Me: Hey
  • Drunk friend 1: Wha?
  • Me: THERE'S A SPIDER NEXT TO YOUR FACE
  • Drunk friend 1: -takes long pause-
  • Drunk friend 1 and 2: -super reaction-
  • There was no spider.
  • Another occasion:
  • Drunk friend 1: I have a headache.
  • Me: You wanna know how to get rid of it?
  • Drunk friend 1: Give it a blow job?
  • Me: No... That's... No...
  • Drunk friend 1: How then?
  • Me: If you smash your face against the ground, it'll go away.
  • Drunk friend 1: Really?
  • Drunk friend 2: -indistinguishable noises-
  • Me: Yes
  • Drunk friend 1: -smashes face against floor-
  • Me: -laughing-

Sometimes I add porn to likes, only because I know that Angy has the habbit to scroll through my likes page

And I just want to make her happy.
WITH COCKS.
True Story.

how i cheer my friends up

  • BB: "ill let you touch my aluminum butt at ohayocon"
  • Topple: "omfg."
  • BB: " U//-//U just once"
  • Topple: "score."

Emily Sleeptalking

youtube.com

My friends tell me their art is not that good

and I say shut up.

Read More →

>Get friend request from elementary school classmate on facebook

>Wow uh okay I guess but only because our grandparents know each other

>21 mutual friends

>Who

>Wow I’m friends with these people?

QUALITY FRIEND.

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