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I do my best to be body-confident on Tumblr, but right now I just want to vent about the complete opposite:
- I hate my legs. They’re short and dumpy
- Despite eating well I am still covered in fucking lanugo hair and it looks awful
- I regret years of self harm because the scars are ugly
- My hair in general is crap
- I have no boobs, despite the rest of the women in my family having a plentiful chest
- I still have shitty pubescent skin
- I’m totally out of proportion
- I cannot stand my ribcage. It is inverted in the middle and flared at the bottom. It looks foul and it can’t be corrected
To clear anything up from my last confession post
I said I was going to bed and I am in bed, I just couldn’t sleep without getting this off of my chest and explaining myself further to avoid misunderstanding. It’s grating on me and I can’t stand not writing more of this out, I’m sorry and I will drop it in the morning.
I’m just sitting in my room crying because life whilst listening to Mika and Taylor Swift even though really I’m more of a Foo Fighters kinda girl but I can’t find my laptop charger and the only cd’s I’ve got is the The Origin Of Love and Red which I can’t even remember why they are in my room…. happy new year…. make your resolutions which you are going to break by the end of Febuary….. and yes next year is going to be just as shit as this one…. maybe even shitter…. and you’re not going to lose weight…. and if you do you’ll gain it back again…. and you’re not going to achieve world peace, inner peace, inner happiness, accept how you look, eat less shit or whatever else for more than 5 days so yeah. the first of january is just any other day kid, get on with it.
Like I am never going to “run 10k, lose weight, get a job, get A’s in my AS’s, actually do work at school, love my friends, smile for real reasons, don’t relapse, get to know god, tell the truth, sort out my uni application, read more books, eat less paper, stop breaking my stuff, love my mum more, be serious, improve my talking to people I don’t know skills, stay vegan” which were the things I thought of. So get real. please. it’s almost embarrassing.