What Is Republicare?

Republicare is the non-socialistic, non-handout, non-affordable insurance program that insures health-care providers against catastrophic profit-margin problems.

Republicare includes all insurance providers, lobbyists, pharmaceutical manufacturers, medical-equipment providers, banks, savings & loans, and collection agencies licensed by Republicare, Inc. to take money from people who claim to be “sick.”*

* This includes “seniors”—defined by Republicare as any living person too enfeebled by age to know that he or she should have put away enough money to pay for keeping him or herself alive, yet is too stubborn to expire.

In a dramatic departure from existing White House procedures, President Obama requested today that his staff start cc’ing him on stuff.

Look, I know a lot of you think I’m really busy and you don’t want to bother me,” the President reportedly told his staff in an Oval Office meeting. “But cc me anyway. It’s good for me to keep up on what’s going on around here.”