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So Fucking Done

I text my mom when I get out of class, wanting to talk to her about my Spanish test. I ask her how she is, how work is going… She responds that she’s spending the day with my father.

 

This is a little weird because A, my father works, and B, why is she saying father and not dad

 

Not a minute later, I get this

 

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I am 500% done with this woman today

How To: Lipstick Shorts

I hate plain white pants.

So I got these white shorts. They were cute, just one problem: They’re white.Not my style. 

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Good thing I knew exactly how to spice them up. It was really easy, and it took me less than an hour to finish.

Here’s what you need:

1 pair of pants

1 clean rag or towel

Napkins or tissues

At least 3 different shades of lipstick

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1. Apply lipstick onto lips. 

2. Kiss your pants 2-3 times.

3. Wipe lips with tissues to remove excess lipstick.

4. Repeat steps 1-3 until pants are covered in lip marks.

5. Rub in lip stains with a towel and throw in washing machine.

Rubbing the lipstick in is important!  Firstly, it fuzzes out the edges a little, giving it a softer effect. Secondly, it removes the excess lipstick that would get on cushions and such.

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BAM. DONE.

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The first lip mark is darkest, and then the ones following are lighter, it gives the pants some depth. My lipsticks were really pale after the first kiss, so I re-applied more often. It depends on what lipsticks you have. 

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The resulting pants are really cute and playful, perfect for summer!

there are actually people out there that thing vampire weekend are pretentious 

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also today i went on a date it did not go very well i coughed croissant onto her dress and then talked about beekeeping for half an hour i dont actually know anything about beekeeping but i have a lot to say about it regardless 

how do you tell ur parents that ur punk rock

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