Worst nightmare ever
So last night I had this AWFUL nightmare. I was with my roommate and she invited me to do something and I was like yeah. But it was OSCARS NIGHT and I ended up missing the show - I just saw the Best Film award and it wasn’t Les Misérables winning and there was ANY VIDEO OF THE CAST PERFOMANCE! Than later I saw some pics on tumblr and the Barricade Boys were DRESSED AS A BOY BAND. SINGING AS A BOY BAND. THEY CALLED THEMSELVES AS BARRICADE BOYZZ AND THERE WAS A E/R THING LIKE A KISS OR SOMETHING (AND I DON’T EVEN SHIP IT). AND I MISSED IT!
I swear I woke up crying.
6 weeks ago I had to find out, that my (now ex)boyfriend cheated on me for 3 weeks - after 7 years of relationship. That was also the reason I wasn’t often at tumblr..
The first month I just felt like shit, but now I’ve got the feeling it’s getting better everyday, thanks to my family and all of my friends.
3 weeks ago the bitch he fucked wrote a message to me via facebook. I’m German, she’s Chinese, so she wrote in English… to be honest I had to laugh a bit while reading what she wrote. And I thought I should share some of it…
So here we go, her first message, just a few days after I found out about it:
- *** and i have lots of common things, we talk a lot, we have some educaitonal background, we like socail things…
- i hope you happy, no one want to hurt others, we are all kind person, i want to find a man who can be my soul mate and every one want to find it…
- u have right to curse me, but i really want to have new life, and try to be happy
the second message, after it was clear that she wouldn’t get him:
- “someday you’ll get what you deserve!” You are right ! Now I am alone in Germany, no best friends,no family,even there is no one who i can talk to, it is as if i am prisoned in a desert island. (ahaha)
- … that i used cunning to get the Man…
- i drunk, and he asked me sex, it happened.
- unfortunately, you found the shameless thing (I found her slip she let there on purpose on the couch)
- you were suffering, and i was suffering too! everyone is hurt during this unnormal situation. (awww poor thing :( )
- all in all, you still have his love, but i was just his sexual instrument, he just want to take advantage on me! No one care about my feeling, everyone thought i was bad woman! Actually i was victim for your broking up! You should recognize the problems of your relationship early, maybe it wouldnot happen the following things. (uh, of course, it was all my fault, damn)
and the third (and hopefully the last) message:
- You are right that you described me “you are a bad woman”, i think i am bad and stupid (finally)
- …it was shameless, but i wanted to be honest to you, that he and i were obsessed by sexual desire, and we lost moral mind … (really, good she made it clear)
I hate so much when people say that Minho is useless in SHINee :/ i can’t understand specially when they call them self ‘Shawols’ you know, you can’t be a shawol saying shit like that, Minho is a very important part of SHINee.
He is our rapper, our flaming charisma. He sings very beautiful, just doesn’t has enought line. How you can say he sings bad when you doesn’t even can listen his voice in the songs?
I feel so sad when I hear that ‘shawols’ say things like that :/ It make me feel so ashamed :/ SHINee is perfect in the way they are, all of the members are important.
Romantic fanfics with random wrestlers now? Isn’t enough all that couples at WWE makes stealing the “true wrestling” time? All the time someone “ship” wrestlers on dash i think that people don’t DESERVE say is a WRESTLING FAN. Seriously, go watching a movie/novel/read a romance and let the wrestling happen.
Ah, but if we’re not asking for anything in return, but just so you like it- that’s okay right? Or is that still inconvenient for you?
lmao I sound so weird probably
well It would be a little bit shitty if people want things in return if they draw a gift for you o.O I mean what the fuck.
No actually I don’t think the most people who draw me gifts want something in return..but I want to give them something in return so that their work wasn’t completely time waste. But then again I don’t want to draw something and just wish they’d have never drawn me that gift so that I didn’t end up in that this inner debate. I hate the feeling to have a “duty” to do something for someone. idk
tl;dr - I’m so fucking weird hah
Today I talked to him and, even when was kind of hard at the beginning, it was wonderful and was like the last year. I been missing him for months now, but I never realised how much I missed him until today.
We talked about a lot of stuff, and we laughed together and I hugged him! I fucking hugged him! and all the time we talked, I couldn’t stop smiling… I also missed that.
And for a little moment, the world seemed like a beautiful place and the life felt like it was worth. But just for a little moment, because when he left, everything just went back to normality and I felt like I’ve been feeling lately… maybe I felt a little worse, because I miss him so much, and I want him, and I love him… but I’ll never have him. Never.
And talking to him again just reminded me how amazing he is and what I don’t have. That sucks.
Happy Birthday Cuzzo!
Happy birthday Long!
I’m not going to make this long & sappy, but I’m glad that our bond has gotten nothin’ but stronger. Just know your one of those people that I actually trust with my whole life, and I’m sure LNP will be forever.
Love you cuzzo! see you later, & i’ll actually wear “shoes” for your bday. :]